Sunday, December 30, 2007

Music Reviews

Santa (and my B-day, and Christmas and B-day money) brought me four new albums this week! So I thought I would review them for you!


One Cell in the Sea by A Fine Frenzy
This album is okay. I like her voice and her ethereal style, but there are only a few songs that really catch my attention. I really like "Last of Days," though. There's just something about that song and it's sound that I really like. Her lyrics don't really grab my, but I do like the musical stylings. That being said, you can download the entire album (of fourteen songs!) for only $7.99 on iTunes!


Begin to Hope by Regina Spektor
I just got this one but so far I like it a lot!


Translated from Love by Kelly Willis
I heart Kelly Willis. This album is still growing on me, but "Don't Know Why" and "Translated from Love" are immediate standouts, in my opinion.


Dwight Sings Buck by Dwight Yoakam
My brother-in-law got this album for Christmas and I liked it so much I bought it for myself! I really like Dwight Yoakam's voice, and all the songs on this album are great! I have found them stuck in my head all week long!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas Memories

Don't the boys look cute in their reindeer antlers?



I wonder how they like them...


Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Happy Xmas (Finals Are Over)

A summation of my finals experience this semester:

Ouch. Vaseline, please?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Question

Q: How long will it take four 3Ls to figure out the difference between subject-matter, personal, specific, and general jurisdiction?

A. Too damn long.

(For the record, I was right in regards to subject-matter jurisdiction, and it took me quite a long time to convince the others.)

A Point to Ponder

Is it a coincidence that Microsoft Word's spellcheck tried to turn "depe├žage" into "defecate"?

Me thinks not.

More Thoughts

I realize that it's called Die Hard for a reason, but I can only suspend belief so much. Falling out of a helicopter and getting up and walking away? Getting kicked in the face multiple times, then slammed into a shelf only to get up with full strength, and still maintain full fighting abilities after getting hit by a car and ran through multiple walls while on the hood of said car? Sorry, Live Free or Die Hard, I've seen enough UFC fights to know that real people go down with significantly less effort.

Also, it is somewhat concerning that I'm more preoccupied with mentally planning my own birthday celebration than studying for my Conflicts of Law final. Hmm...

Thoughts

Turns out there are some downsides to staying in your apartment sans television or internet access for about two days straight. One, you really have no idea what is going on in the world, or even your own country. There are massive winter storms in the midwest? Huh. Good to know. Two, you learn that you don't need the Internet or television to avoid studying for finals. Books and DVDs work juuuust fine.

As does a podcast subscription to Oyez. Because I was avoiding studying at all costs, and because I'm a huge dork, I listened to the entire oral argument in Boumediene v. Bush on Monday. In case you are not familiar, that is the case dealing in part with the constitutionality of the Military Commissions Act of 2006. Here's what I learned:

-Scalia's a dick. Big surprise.
-Breyer isn't too good at hiding the ball on what his opinion is. But he was kick-ass in questioning the government's attorney.
-The amount of questions each justice is inversely related to their predicted vote. Roberts and Scalia hounded the Act's challenger, and said almost nothing to the government's attorney. Breyer and Souter were pretty quiet with the challenger, then let loose on the government. Damn you, Kennedy, with your even split!
-I wonder if the government's attorney was pissed that he had to be the one to argue this case. He sure sounded pissed at times.
-Bless her heart, but Ginsburg's questions severely disrupt the flow of the argument. You almost wonder if she just woke up and decided to ask a question she had thought up ten minute before.
-I'm pretty certain that Thomas was the only justice who didn't ask a single question.

Here's my favorite except from Breyer:

JUSTICE BREYER: They get additional process. The question, I guess, is whether it is an adequate substitute for having withdrawn the writ of habeas corpus.

On that question, suppose that you are from Bosnia, and you are held for six years in Guantanamo, and the charge is that you helped Al-Qaeda, and you had your hearing before the CSRT.

And now you go to the D.C. Circuit, and here is what you say: The CSRT is all wrong. Their procedures are terrible. But just for purposes of argument, I concede those procedures are wonderful, and I also conclude it reached a perfectly good result.

Okay? So you concede it for argument's sake. But what you want to say is: Judge, I don't care how good those procedures are. I'm from Bosnia. I've been here six years. The Constitution of the United States does not give anyone the right to hold me six years in Guantanamo without either charging me or releasing me, in the absence of some special procedure in Congress for preventive detention.

That's the argument I want to make. I don't see anything in this CSRT provision that permits me to make that argument. So I'm asking you: Where can you make that argument?


GENERAL CLEMENT: I'm not sure that he could make that argument.

JUSTICE BREYER: Exactly.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

My Dream of Being a Pig Farmer's Wife

When I was little, I had my life all planned out. I was going to be a nurse, and I was going to marry the love of my four-and five year-old life, Kyle. My pet name for him was Tuh-tee. I don't know why. Kyle was going to be a pig farmer, which I thought was just perfect because pigs were both of our favorite animal. It could only be fate.

Now I'm thinking marrying a pig farmer might not be such a good idea after all.



(Also, Kyle got married when he was like eighteen, which is probably not uncommon for people who have big childhood dreams of being a pig farmer, now that I think of it...)

Friday, December 7, 2007

Defense of a Certain Professor

Those friends from my law school will understand this post, the rest of you might not care.

Having taken Constitutional Law from this professor last year and Federal Courts this year, I feel I am as qualified as anyone to speak about his teaching credentials. I should probably start with a disclaimer that it is rather difficult for me to dislike or talk negatively about a professor. If he or she is a horrible person but a good teacher, I will respect them for that. If he or she is a nice person but a horrible teacher, I will think kindly of them for that.

I haven't spent enough time outside of class with this professor to know whether or not he is horrible or nice in his personality, so I'm not qualified to speak on that issue. And I will admit that I didn't like his teaching style at the beginning of last year's Con Law class. I didn't like his style, so I wrote him off and paid little or no attention during class. Unfortunately for me, I also paid little or no attention to the reading until the end of the semester when I realized how badly I had screwed myself over, not only because I had not been reading, but also because it wasn't until then that I started to understand the professor's teaching style.

I hear so many people say that he is a bad teacher and that they don't learn from him. I personally wonder about that. I came out of his Con Law class with a thorough enough understanding of the content of the law to get a B in the class. I learned the elements of an Equal Protection claim. I learned the theories of Hobbes and Locke. I learned about fundamental rights. I learned about the Takings Clause. If I learned all of that from spacing out 3/4 of the semester, how did everyone else learning "nothing"? Let's drop the hyperboles, okay? The truth usually is not that you didn't learn anything, but rather because you didn't like the way he taught it to you.

He expressly told our class that his teaching method is one that assumes that we've all read the materials and come to class prepared. I often didn't do that, and that's why I wasn't able to appreciate his methods until very late into the class. Personally I appreciate the fact that he goes deeper than just the black letter law of the case, just the holdings. I like that he points of inconsistencies between holdings written by the same justices, how he points out hypocrisy. If all I wanted from class was a regurgitation of the case, I could read it by myself in my spare time. But we're paying tuition for a reason.

Yes, he's a liberal. So what? I've been through five semesters of law school now, and he is the only professor I've ever had here that made his personal political views a part of class. The conservatives in my class just go apeshit over this, and I just roll my eyes. Sure, it's easy for me not to be bothered because I agree with a lot of what he says, but do these conservatives really expect everyone to coddle them? So you have ONE teacher in law school that makes it clear what he thinks of the majority on the Supreme Court. Can your psyche not handle that? Grow up, I say.

I honestly believe that he's not making his "far left" views clear just for the hell of it, but to point out the opposite extreme in order that he can get the students to fall somewhere in the middle. Yes, he refuses to concede his point to anyone that speaks up in class, but that's just part of his style. What are the conservatives so afraid of? That just because our professor is liberal all the students are going to accept his view hook, line, and sinker? Give us a little credit—we can think for ourselves and decide what we believe with or without the professors opinion. Most of the cases are written from the "right" (i.e., conservative) perspective, so why shouldn't the professor bring up the other perspective? Why not try to balance the scales?

Right now everyone is up in arms about him because of some snafu on their final exam. Look, I just took a final from him, too, and it sucked. I felt like I was sucker punched. But even if I were to concede that it wasn't a well-written or executed test, that doesn't change the fact that I learned a hell of a lot about federal courts from him. I have little to no patience with students who are in a professional program and whine and complain about their grades. Yes, grades matter, but learning matters more. It is spoiled brats like that who drove the brilliant organic chemistry professor at my undergraduate chemistry program out of teaching Organic Chemistry. The doctors kids that wanted to follow in daddy's footprints were getting C's—how would they ever get into medical school!—and they complained so much and so many took a summer O. Chem program to avoid the professors class that the administration caved. Now he teaches intro-level chemistry to the general studies students and the nursing and dental hygiene majors. A professor—who is not an organic chemist—is left with teaching O. Chem. And every single student in that department is missing out on the opportunity to learn Organic Chemistry with a deep and thorough understanding of the subject matter.

I'm not comparing our professor here to my Organic Chemistry professor, but I am comparing the complaining students to the students that drove him out. Haven't we all had to deal with things in life that aren't necessarily pleasant? That don't come easy? Haven't we all had professors that could be better teachers? For pete's sake, we're supposedly going to be attorneys! Can't we handle some adversity without falling apart and whining all the time? So it's not easy for you to learn from his methods. Well, I am able to learn from them, and I'm probably not alone. So stop complaining—the world (and the law school) does not revolve around you.

That's my piece.

Hmm

I am somewhat amused and dismayed that the second more frequent keyword search that leads people to my blog is "I hate law school." Someone even used "I hate hate hate law school."

I don't hate law school, so why is it leading them here? Apparently I hate enough things and mention law school enough to cause them to land on my humble little site. Huh.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

My Marathon Day of Finals

After taking two law school finals in one day, only one thing comes to mind. If you love the movie She's The Man even one half as much as I do, then you can practically quote it and you will recall the scene where Viola wakes up in the middle of the night so she can shower in the boys dormitory and all she says is...

"I get to take a shower, I get to take a shower."

Seriously. I just unloaded Lord knows how much information from my brain, and all I can think is that I am one big ball of grease. But who takes a shower the morning before an 8 a.m. final that they ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT PREPARED FOR?

In retrospect, my decision not to spread my finals out was not necessarily a bad one. One of my classmates just told me that I am "bad ass" and he's going to call me "The Terminator" from now on.

I don't know... I just seem to remember that in undergrad I had to double up on finals all the time. And that was back when I took hard stuff like Biochemistry, Organic Chemistry, General Chemistry, Analytical Chemistry, Physical Chemistry, Calculus I, Calculus II, Developmental Biology, Cell Biology, and Genetics. Kinda puts puny little Wills and Federal Courts in perspective.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A Note On Studying From Borrowed Outlines

At my law school there are legendary outlines that have been around at least three years now from a former student who pretty much wrote a treatise for each class. Seriously, we're talking about 60+ pages in 9 point font, color-coded, with graphics in some cases... it's insane. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "Oh, I'm just going to use the So-and-So outline," like they're talking about an E&E or something. It's kind of funny.

But this guy was not infallible, and secretly I wonder if the outlines have been diluted over the years to screw us all up, because there are inconsistencies and flat-out WRONG statements that I've seen in there. I think anyone who only relies on these outlines is a fool. Sure, they're great for gap-filling in your own outlines, but you have to know what you're looking at in order for them to be useful.

But I digress. The point of this post is really to rejoice in the fact that my mind has not been completely taken over by law school lingo. I'm looking at this outline seeing "SOL" written in a number of places. Now, to me SOL means "shit outta luck." I seriously have it in my class notes from this very class, saying, "if we use the late vesting rule, the Regents are SOL."

Apparently this outline author means "statute of limitations." Hehe. Took me a while to figure that one out.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

MPRE Musings

Braveheart says:
McDoodle did very well.

Braveheart says:
113 or something

Litigious Mind says:
She is an ethical girl

Braveheart says:
There is a direct correlation between whore-ishness and MPRE score

Litigious Mind says:
hahahaha

Braveheart says:
That explains why you and McDoodle are so high

Braveheart says:
And me and ComicBookLover have an 85

Braveheart says:
hehe

Litigious Mind says:
That is so going on my blog

At Least I'm Ethical

Well I have somewhat recovered from my weekend pity party (although my studying has suffered because of it). And the good news is that I passed the MPRE! Yay! I'm not too ethical after all!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

More Ramblings from a Disappointed Law Student

I'm starting to wonder if law is really the right thing for me. I like studying it, learning about it, etc. But I can't help but think that there is a game going on that I'm not cut out for. I've never been interested in working for a big firm, making a lot of money, or making a name for myself. All I want to do is help people. And I want to help people through the appellate process. I enjoying nothing about law school more than doing legal research and crafting a written argument for a case. It's all I want to do, it's where my passion is.

But I don't seem to be what employers are looking for.

I'm going to graduate in the top 10% of my class, with law review experience, a published case note, moot court experience, and a "best brief" award. I've done all these things so I could have the luxury of choosing a job in my area of interest upon graduation. But appellate judges don't seem want me as their clerk.

I've always bucked the system a little bit by not pursuing summer internships with big firms, and instead doing pro bono work at a public defenders office. Maybe it's time for me to buck the system a little more. I tried to play the game that they tell you to play with my credentials, the clerkship game, but it didn't work out.

I guess I just need to forget about what someone with my credentials is "supposed" to do after graduation. I thought that my experiences and interests made me a shoo-in for a clerkship, but that turned out not to be the case. Maybe they don't want someone who is genuinely, honestly, and eagerly interested in appellate work and research and writing. I don't know. All I know is that I'm pretty disillusioned right now, and that any ego that law school has built up in me has effectively been obliterated.

And what does it say about the law school system that I have accomplished so much, and yet still feel like a complete and abject failure because I will possibly graduate without a job lined up?

More on Law School Job Searches

Well, if there has been one thing I've learned from looking for a job, it's that I don't take rejection well.

At all.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Take A Peek

There is an interesting article by Christopher Hitchens over at Slate.com regarding Mitt Romney and how he should be answering questions regarding his Mormon faith instead of dodging them. Hitchens raises some really good points, but this is my personal favorite line:

If candidates can be asked to declare their preference as between briefs and boxers, then we already have a precedent, and Romney can be asked whether, as a true believer should, he wears Mormon underwear.

Sometimes it's good to lighten the mood every once in a while.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Vacation Time

Someone is doing their best to make sure that I don't get in much study time over this Thanksgiving Break.


Sunday, November 18, 2007

Oh. No. They. Didn't.

I have just heard the news about the casting for a film version of Jodi Picoult's book My Sister's Keeper (which just so happens to be one of my favorite books).

Elle Fanning as Anna? Dakota Fanning as Kate? Cameron Diaz as Sara?

WHAT THE HELL? Did the casting director even read the book?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Join The Ranks!

I can't tell you how happy it made me to see "i hate carrie underwood" and "carrie underwood hate" show up as keyword searches that landed on my blog.

Apparently I am not alone.

Predicament

I realize that I am a somewhat cynical person. I probably don't take time to "stop and smell the roses" as much as I should. And my sense of humor is a little bit dirty. That's all good and well, but sometimes it puts me in awkward situtations.

Most notably these situations arise when those around me get very excited about something that I do not find excitement-worthy, and I feel like I have to drum up the appropriate level of enthusiasm when really, it's not that big of a deal to me. Similar situations arise when those around me find jokes/emails/videos funny and they want to share them with me, and I don't find them funny and have to fake amusement.

It's somewhat uncomfortable.

Maybe I need to learn how to find joy in the simple pleasures of life, I don't know. All I know is that I find this significantly funnier than emails of cute and cuddly animals in charming situations.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

More Wisdom From My State and Local Government Professor

"New Hampshire definitely had minimun contacts. It has f-ing maximum contacts with these people."

English Sucks

Yeah, that's right, English sucks. As evidenced by my glaring typo in the previous post (which I later corrected)—unrational. Seriously, why do we have to make our language so hard? It must be damned near impossible for people to learn English when we use negatives like irrational, unimpressed, nonthreatening, atypical. The prefixes all signal the same thing—that it's the opposite of the root word. So why so many different versions? It's often too hard for me to remember off the top of my head!

The Hard Way

I am slowly but surely learning that I should never make assumptions about the behavior of other people. For instance, when I signed for my package to be left at my front door I should not have assumed that my neighbors would not steal it. And when I left the spare key to the law review room in the law review room with the doors unlocked, I should not have assumed that someone would not come along while I was in class and lock the door behind me.

Seriously. People will do stupid things no matter how irrational they seem to me. So the bottom line is this—assume everyone is an idiot who will deliberately do things to thwart you. It will make life easier.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Movie Review: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

So, quite a while ago I started reading Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, but I never finished it because lately the only books I seem to finish these days are romance novels. But I was at the movie store this weekend with my friend and the only flick we seemed to agree upon was the movie version of Perfume. "What the heck," I said, "I'll probably never finish the book anyway."

Oh. My. Goodness. There is same jacked up s@%t going on in this movie, mostly at the end. I'm kind of glad I didn't finish the book because it would have taken away from my disbelief while watching the movie.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Why?

Why do the 1Ls who always take the longest to gather up their crap and get out of the classroom always seem to sit in the same classroom seat I sit in for the next class?

Hello? All those people walking into the classroom who are not in your year? All those people standing around with scowls on their faces? THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU TO MOVE IT, BUDDY.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

A Lesson Learned

I would like to thank my neighbors (or whoever it was who stole my FedEx package from my front door) for teaching me that I should never, ever, trust a stranger to be a decent person.

By the way, asshole, I'm filing a police report.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Karaoke Queen

Last night after a rousing performance of Trisha Yearwood's "Believe Me Baby (I Lied)," I was invited by the karaoke lady to enter a karaoke contest to win a free trip to Vegas!



...and then I promptly proceeded to butcher Jamie O'Neal's "There Is No Arizona," so I'm not sure if that offer still stands.

The key to successful karaoking is song selection, man. I think I redeemed myself slightly with Kim Carnes' "Bette Davis Eyes," even though I'm fairly convinced that half the words on the screen were the wrong lyrics! "Until you come up blue?" What is that? (I'm pretty sure it's "until you come unglued.") And "she'll expose you when she snows you off your feed?" No. Feet, my friend, feet. And I could definitely be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's "Greta Garbo stand off sighs," not "stand up size."

Those don't even make sense!!!

I May Be Too Ethical

So I took the MPRE yesterday. For those of you who aren't well acquainted with that jaunty acronym, it stands for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam. Basically it's an ethics test for lawyers.

Sidebar
And for the record, enough with the lawyer jokes. As my brilliant friend Queen of Consumption likes to remind people, the law is one of the only professions that holds members accountable to a specific code of ethics. So suck it, doctors.

Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes, the MPRE. So, I'm pretty sure that if I failed that exam, it was because I was too ethical. I'd estimate that 80% of my wrong answers on practice exams were due to me being too cautious, me thinking to myself "I would never do that!" But the questions on the MPRE are not based upon what you should do, they're based upon what you can get away with. There was one question on the actual test that made me think "hell no, you shouldn't do that!" But when I stopped to think it through, I was pretty sure there is no specific rule actually barring such conduct.

Great.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Dear Academic Support Lady:

Look, I realize that it's your job to help law students with a whole range of academic support issues, and I realize that mass emails are a quick and easy way to get the word out. But I honestly don't know why you felt like you needed to send out a mass email to all the 3Ls telling us about a "How To Take Law School Exams" workshop.

We're 3Ls. We've been in law school for four full semesters. WE KNOW HOW TO TAKE LAW SCHOOL EXAMS.

Sincerely,

Litigious Mind

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

HOLY COW!

How did I not know about this website until now?!?!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Kill Me Now

Next semester's schedule is looking like this:

Negotiable Instruments
Creditor's Rights
Remedies
Advanced Legal Writing
Community Property

I WANT TO DIE.

Last Night's Ugly Betty

TV doesn't really make me laugh-out-loud much anymore, but last night's episode of Ugly Betty did. When she was instant messaging the guy from the on-line dating site? When she accidently typed "I like blowing" instead of "I like bowling"?

Soooo funny.

Maybe it's because we law students are obsessed with instant messaging and often mistype things and we like making dirty jokes that like that.

Lame Rant That No One Other Than Law Geeks Will Appreciate

We are studying the Eleventh Amendment and "sovereign immunity" in Federal Courts right now, and the majority opinion in Alden v. Maine is so ridiculous that I can hardly stand it!

The Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution says that:
The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.

From this, the majority in Alden decides that a state cannot be sued by citizens of that state (i.e., non-foreign) IN THEIR OWN STATE COURT (i.e., NOT federal courts--the "judicial power of the United States").

You know, often times I don't get as worked up as my professor in Federal Courts, but I'm with him 100% on this. This is so stupid. The Court actually reaches it's opinion based upon what is NOT said in the Constitution. They are immunizing states when they break the law because of "the Founder's silence."

WTF.

Justice?

It's about time.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My Rant About Carrie Underwood

I used to go off about how much I hate Carrie Underwood on my old blog, and if that blog was still around I would link to all those posts. But since it's not, I'll just have to start all over again.

It annoys me to no end that Carrie Underwood has become the darling of country music. People are creaming themselves over her for, what is to me anyway, no apparent reason. The other day on the radio a DJ actually said that "we all pretty much know that Carrie Underwood is synonymous with beauty." What?! No, no we don't. Sure, she's pretty, but she's not out of this world beautiful. Urgh!!!

She is a good singer, I will give her that, but I don't think that she performs any vocal acrobatics. Martina McBride and Faith Hill could sing circles around her ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

And the awards! They drive me up the wall! Her music is not very good! It is simplistic and asinine! But Jesus Take The Wheel won multiple GRAMMYs, despite being horrifically bad. And her new song, So Small is just as bad:

When you figure out that love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem so small


You know what, Carrie? Don't patronize me. Love is not all that matters after all. So despite the fact that this song is about a trite saying that has been around forever (Love Is All You Need, anyone?), it's a big fat lie that we're supposed to swallow just because Carrie Underwood sings it? No.

God, country radio makes me mad. It is just so ridiculously bad, as evidenced by the fact that Carrie Underwood beat out Martina McBride's I Still Miss Someone for the GRAMMY. Urgh...

Pondering

I'm trying to decide if it was a good or a bad decision to study for the MPRE exam while watching Dirty Sexy Money on ABC last night. It was probably a bad thing as far as enjoying the program went, because it's hard to lose yourself in the story when everything that the main-character lawyer does seems ethically suspect.

But at the same time, it was a handy exercise for testing my knowledge of the conflict-of-interest rules.

Bottom line: It just doesn't seem possible for one attorney to represent an entire family. And, how stupid do the writers think we are? When Tripp Darling asked Nick to "draw up a document" that would extend his childrens' trusts for five more years, I just rolled my eyes. HELLO?! Tripp was not the settlor of the trust! His wife's father was! There's no way he could alter the terms of the trust!

Dude

I know that there are a lot of people in the world that are not medically "normal" as society would consider them. Some things go wrong in the mysterious thing called a brain. I know that I should be tolerant about that.

But dude. The guy in the coffee shop where I am currently trying to study for the MPRE has some weird form of Tourettes that makes him yelp quite loudly every twenty or so seconds. Sometimes more frequently. Imagine really loud hiccups if you will.

This is quite annoying.

My tolerance is fraying.

Question

Does it make me a bad person that I really couldn't care less about the wildfires in southern California? That I don't care that the obscenely wealthy are losing their obscenely extravagant homes? That I don't care that average folk are losing their homes either since they were foolish enough to live in the hell-hole that is southern California and foolish enough to build homes where nature cannot sustain that much human presence?

I have a feeling that it does. But I blame my ambivalence on shows like Laguna Beach, The Hills, and My Super Sweet Sixteen. Lord knows those people could use a reality check.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

With Friends Like This...

(Background information—I recently changed my Instant Messenger name)

in your face, marathon says:
i hardly even realized your name! did you get married over the weekend?

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
yes, yes I did

in your face, marathon says:
wow

in your face, marathon says:
so, how's mike in bed?

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
he's everything i ever hoped he would be and more

in your face, marathon says:
haha

in your face, marathon says:
hopefully he's not just filming his next episode....

in your face, marathon says:
*KIDDING!*

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
you are such a bitch

in your face, marathon says:
that one was just too good to pass up

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
you are also lucky that my class has not started yet because i just laughed out loud

in your face, marathon says:
haha

Monday, October 22, 2007

All The Good Ones Are Gone

It seems like all the good guys are taken. How many times have I said that to myself? Too many, it seems. But seriously, the vast majority of the guys at law school that I think are really nice and fun to be around are married. I was telling a friend of mine about that this weekend and she pointed out that there is something different about married men, like they don't have anything to prove, etc. I think she's right.

There is something to be said about being friends with married men. First off, I can be myself around them, because the first clue that I am attracted to a guy is that I won't talk to them. Yes, yes, that might be a factor in my singleness, but you get the point. There's no reason to be awkward around a married guy.

Second, there is (hopefully) never the worry that your married male friend will suddenly develop a crush on you. Girls, you know how nice that assurance is, especially considering how men tend to have the habit of developing attractions to you even if you never talk to or encourage them whatsoever.

And finally, I think that my friend was right. When a guy has already landed and legally bound himself to a woman, it seems as if they're much more comfortable around women in general. Because they don't have to worry about whatever it is that men worry about when they're single and around women? I don't know. Whatever the reason, married guys tend to be more outgoing and funnier than a lot of their single counterparts at my school. Or maybe it's not marriage that has induced the change but rather that they are cooler guys to begin with and that's why a woman has already agreed to marry them... Oh well, it's the chicken or the egg problem, I guess.

That's my piece.

Random Stuff

-I ordered a new battery for my laptop today. I must say that I am slightly concerned by all the one-star reviews for the product on the Apple website, but my old battery has done the trick for three years now, and I'm pretty sure that I am not using "energy -saving tips." I just hope it's not $140 wasted.

-Speaking of the above, why do all things seem to break down at once? My Apple computer battery, my PC computer screen (which I need for taking final exams), the locking mechanism in my car door. Thankfully my knee joint turned out to be not broken. Phew!

-I really need to stop borrowing complete seasons of television shows on DVD from my friend. I have spent the past two weeks watching pretty much nothing but Deadwood and Firefly. News? What is news? And since my friend only has seasons one and two of Deadwood, I am going to have to spend money to rent the final season. Urgh! (Because really, not watching it is not an option.)

-I'm pretty sure that watching the aforementioned Deadwood has desensitized me to a number of obscenities. Anyone who watches the show knows which ones I'm talking about. Luckily I am showing no proclivity for using those obscenities myself. I don't think that the law school community would appreciate my calling everyone a "c&@#s%!*er." Just a hunch.

-I should probably invest in a dayplanner, since I never seem to know what is going on regarding anything ever. It's starting to be a problem.

-I hope the actors at the haunted house I went to this weekend were not offended that I laughed at them when they jumped out at me more than I screamed.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dear 2L Student:

There have been many times in Wills this semester when your comments have made me want to claw your eyes out in annoyance, but since you seem like a pretty good guy, I just sit there and take it like a woman. However, this week you have provided the class with such priceless material that I have been moved to share them with my blog readers.

I appreciated you showcasing your lack of arithmatic abilities on Wednesday when, in answer to the professor's question of what 2/7ths divided by 4 was, you insisted the answer was 1/13th. And when the rest of us grumbled, and you so confidantly lectured, "Listen, 2/28ths, that's 1/13th," it was a moving moment, indeed.

But nothing could top the keen insight that you displayed today on the discussion of who should have the right to a dead man's frozen sperm. It truly was priceless when you speculated that producing the frozen sperm "could not have been a painless process."

Oh, dear 2L... at least we know that you will never suffer the indignity of blindness or hairy palms.

My Obligatory Post

I have been urged by members of my tiny, tiny fanbase to post more on this blog, and because I must pander to the cries of the half-dozen, I have complied.

Now all that remains is to decide what I should post about.

Perhaps I should return to one of my favorite subjects—marriage and dating. I remember about three years ago, when I was just barely able to legally drink, a girl that I had gone to high school with and who had been a year behind me in school was expecting her first child. She had gotten married the year before and I was telling her mother that it was seemed so strange to think that Sally was going to be a mom. Her mother responded by good-naturedly saying, "You're all that at time in your lives. You're at that age."

Her comment struck me and has stayed with me for these three years because I remember that my immediate reaction was to think "Hell no, I'm not at that time! Are you crazy? I'm 21 years old!!!"

I still maintain that she was wrong. Me and my high school acquaintances were not at that age. However... we (or they) definitely are now. I am now the last of my four best friends from high school to be married or engaged. I'm totally cool with that, and I love all of them and their hubbies/fiancees/babies. But I can no longer deny that I am not "at that age," especially considering that my high school acquaintances are reproducing in mass quantities. Every time I log onto MySpace it seems as if there is a new pregnancy or baby picture.

Now, I am not one of those young women who, inexplicably, do not love babies. I love me some babies. Babies and puppies get me everytime. I am not at all fazed by the fact that everyone around me is making good use of the utereses (don't even get me started on how many of my law school classmates are expecting bundles of joy).

(How can you look at this and not melt? HOW?)

Hmm, where was I going with this now?

Oh yeah. While all these married people used to bother me quite a bit, in the past year or so I've noticed that my attitude has changed considerably. I don't care anymore. I've finally realized that whatever those people choose to do with their lives has no bearing on mine whatsoever. And what's more, I no longer try to convince myself that I'm right and they're wrong and they'll all be divorced someday anyway. Although frankly, my Family Law class has soured me even more on marriage for myself. But the point is that I've come to be quite happy with the way my life is right now.

I have the best friends in the world. They are so funny that coming to law school every day is a positive experience because I know that they will make me laugh and smile more times than I can count. I think this is why I don't feel like something is wrong with me, or that something is missing in my life, just because I'm not married. What is the good in marriage other than being with someone that makes you happy? I don't feel like I'm missing that because I have great friends that make me happy everyday.

So my advice to anyone that is feeling like they have to get married (especially if you are at a ridiculous age to be thinking that—like 24) is to figure out why you feel like you are missing something because you're not married. Maybe there's a void in your life or a lack of fun and happiness in your life for a reason other than no spouse. Try to figure out what that is and work on that. Because let me tell you, even though I have no personal experience, I don't think that getting married will make you happy if you're not happy to begin with.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Dumb Boys

I don't like to compare class rank with people. One, because it's rude. Two, because I am convinced that class rank has little to do with intelligence and even less to do with a person's potential for success as an attorney.

However, there are sometimes when I will pull rank.

Why is it difficult for men to realize that although I am female, blonde, and often goofy, I am not less intelligent than they are? If there is one thing that I hate, it is being condescended to by male classmates. For instance, while telling a story about how I was hit by a softball with a line-drive to the forehead while pitching in eighth grade P.E. class, a classmate felt inclined to remark that I "never recovered." If this was the first time I had been condescended to by this particular person, I would have let it slide. But the accumulative effect was enough that I lost my temper and snapped, "Oh really? And what's your ranking?"

Was it rude? Yes. Do I wish I hadn't said it? Yes. But nevertheless I think that something needs to be said in those types of situations. Because I'm not holding out hope that the men of my generation will stop feeling like they have to make fun of intelligent women to keep their male egos satisfied.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Words of Wisdom From My State and Local Government Professor

“Bloomfield Hills? That’s not Detroit, you honky mo-fo.”

Thursday, October 4, 2007

At Least He's Honest

I came across this excerpt from a case while doing research a while back. I don't remember which case it was from, but I do remember that it made an impression...

During the jury selection process, the district court told the prospective jurors, “I'll be honest with you. Of course most of the people charged are guilty.” After making the statement, the district court said, “There. I said it. Big secret. Well, guess what? It's not always the case.”

Synopsis of 3L Year To Date

-Classes are waaaaayyyyyyyy better than first semester last year, when Constitutional Law was the only class that did not make me want to put my head in a gas oven/jump out of a window. I thought my B.A., Sales, and Admin Law professors were great, but oh holy hell, did I hate those classes. This year Family Law is AWESOME! I love talking about stuff that doesn't require a legal mind, but rather common sense and an understanding of people. And Federal Courts is a delight, especially when the professor asks, "If any of you are planning on voting Republican in the upcoming election, could you please explain to me why?"

-After two full years of law school, I think I've started to perfect the art of not reading the material but still understanding everything that we're talking about. Fabulous.

-I like being a 3L. Suddenly I want to participate in everything, because who cares what I do? I'm at the top of the mountain, now!

-Still no job, but oh well. I'll get something eventually.

Criminal Procedure In Action

Braveheart says:
WTF.  There is a dead cat in my yard.

Litigious Mind says:
Ick.

Litigious Mind says:
Call McDoodle to come do CPR

Litigious Mind says:
She loves kitties

Braveheart says:
LMAO

Braveheart says:
Stupid police department

Litigious Mind says:
What?

Braveheart says:
They're not sure if animal control will pick it up because it's IN my yard

Litigious Mind says:
What?

Braveheart says:
I said, "well, it's about 3 feet fromt the street."

Litigious Mind says:
NOW they respect the curtilege of your home?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Funny

No matter how many times I see this clip, I still find it hilarious.

I Heart JPS

I will cry when he dies.

Seriously. I'm getting choked up just thinking of it...

Just Seems Appropriate Somehow...

"There is nothing sadder than a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Give it up little guy."
-Jack Handey

Monday, September 24, 2007

My Prima Facia Case

Facts:
The scene of the injury:


The actor:


The witnesses:


Duty
On September 15, 2007, one Mr. Medical Student, a resident of California and domiciliary of State X, was boogey-boarding in the California surf when he failed to navigate his boogey board away from the person of Ms. Litigious Mind, a resident and domiciliary of State Y, who was wading cautiously in the surf.

Breach
Ms. Litigious Mind, upon seeing Mr. Medical Student approaching at a rapid pace, cried "Don't hit me!" but was unable to move aside before Mr. Medical Student crashed into her right leg, throwing her off-balance and causing her to land unceremoniously on her backside where she was immediately swept up into the surf and became tangled with the lead rope from Mr. Medical Student's board. Ms. Dental Student and Ms. Redhead were standing on the shore witnessing the entire event.

Injury
Shortly after the collision, Ms. Litigious Mind noticed a painful twinge in her right knee, the same knee that was the object of a bilateral meniscus and anterior cruciate ligament tear seven years previously. As the day progressed, it became more and more difficult for Ms. Litigious Mind to walk on the knee. A week after the injury, Ms. Litigious Mind received an informal assessment from her father that her symptoms presented much like a tear in the lateral meniscus.

Causation
The motion of having her right leg swept out from underneath her when slammed into by Mr. Medical Student's boogey board caused Ms. Litigious Mind's left leg to accept all of her weight at an awkward and unnatural angle such that an injury to the knee joint resulted.

Summary
Mr. Medical Student is insolvent, otherwise Ms. Litigious Mind would fulfill the expectations of all of Mr. Medical Student's acquaintances (who think she will sue doctors as much as she can) and sue his tush, because her student health insurance sucks.

(Just kidding! I wouldn't sue my friend. I'm not that litigious. But if I did, would I sue in California? That is the place of injury. Could I sue in State Y and have California law applied? Would State Y have personal jurisdiction over Mr. Medical Student? Could I reasonably claim damages over $75,000 and take him to federal court in a diverstiy action? Does my previous knee injury make me an eggshell plaintiff? Does it matter? What interesting torts, conflicts of law, and civil procedure questions...)


I guess I should just "suck it up."

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Survey

If you are a guy who is the designated driver for two female friends, one of who is wearing three inch heels do you:

(a) park in one of the two available parking spaces right in front of the bar at the request of the heels-wearing friend

(b) insist of parking in the "back lot," ridicule the heels-wearing friend when she mentions that her feet hurt, drive around the back parking lot twice, leave the parking lot, then park two blocks from the bar when the two spots in front of the bar are still open


Seems like kind of a no-brainer to me...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

More Pictures Of My Adorable Honorary Niece!



Lawyer Etiquette

What do you do, as a law student, when someone who is clearly not well-versed in the way the legal system works, starts chatting with you about something that is just complete ridiculous? Let me give you an example:

While getting my hair cut today, it came out that I was a law student. So the stylist asks me if I've heard about this case that's been "all over the Internet." Two eight year-old boys kidnap and murder a two-year old in a shopping mall, apparently. Okay, so far that's something I can believe. Then she tells me that they've been "shipped to Australia where they've changed their names," and that she's signed "three petitions" on-line about this.

Umm...

What do you say to that? Other than you've been had by a stupid MySpace bulletin or mass email scheme, because there's no way that America is shipping juvenile offenders to Australia. England about a century and a half ago, yes. But America today, no.

I just made sympathetic noises and said, "Huh, I haven't heard of that," and hoped that she'd change the subject.

Awkward.

Is it better to correct such ridiculous rumors or play along so you don't embarrass them by pointing out their naivety?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Who Should We Look Up To?

If any of you are law students or medical students, you know the amount of prestige lawyers and doctors have. In my family, I am in law school (clearly) and my sister is a physician. Lots of people have said things like, "Wow, a doctor and a lawyer, your parents must be proud." I doubt they would say, "Wow, a nurse and a paralegal, your parents must be proud." Thus, I have deduced that people think that it's good to be a doctor or a lawyer.

Those of us who are in law school know how ridiculous it is to look up to a lawyer. All we have to do is take a look around at our classmates (and admittedly, ourselves) to know that it doesn't take anyone special, or even functioning at the intelligence level of a third grader, to be a law student. That was made especially clear to me when more than a handful of my classmates were advocating a resurrection of internment camps for hispanics should we ever go to war with Mexico. ("You should have to take an oath of allegiance to America if you don't want to go!") And on numerous occasions my friends and I have listened to what was said in our classes and thought, "Oh my God. And these (crazy) people are going to be lawyers."

So there go the lawyers in the ranks of prestige.

But I heard something this weekend from a medical student that may have been just as bad. In his words, "What is all this talk about the right to healthcare? Health care isn't a right! Why should the government force me to do it?"

Does that seem just plain wrong to any of you? Even if you don't want universal health care in this country, how can you be moved enough to go into medicine but not think that health care should be a right for all people in an industrialized country like the United States? In my opinion, just because the insurance companies have made health care a business doesn't mean that it should be one forever when clearly the current system is NOT working. The medical student in question actually said that if you can't afford a procedure you should "suck it up."

Why doesn't he just admit that he became a doctor to make money, because really, in my opinion there is no other explanation. Does he think that other professionals aren't "forced" to provide services due to their education and expertise? A judge can appoint an attorney to do mandatory pro bono for an indigent client. That's the definition of "forced" in my opinion. But it's something that you do to give back to your community because of the unique position that you are in. Public school teachers do it. Doctors should do the same. I just don't buy the argument that it matters whether you're being forced to do it or volunteering, because you know what? To that patient it doesn't matter why you're doing it. It just matters that you are. You're helping a fellow human being when they're sick or in pain. Isn't that what medicine is supposed to be about?

This has made me wonder why we look up to doctors and lawyers so much when attitudes like these seem to be prevalent.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Why Do I Even Try?

I'm this close to saying "screw it" to potential legal employers and leaving law to raise alpacas.

Apparently I am about as attractive to employers as I am to the male gender. (Not very.)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

My Honorary Niece!


Born just yesterday and already adorable!



(Photo credit to Jen.)

What Am I Supposed To Do With This Stuff Now?


'Cause I ain't gonna be seen in 'em this season!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Quote of the Week

"I'm pretty sure he wants to be the reason why you can't join the Christian Legal Society."

Friday, September 7, 2007

I'm Going To Hell

Litigious Mind says:
It is so cold in here.

Litigious Mind says:
I hate this building.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Yeah it's pretty cold in here.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Pretty sure my cold is moving into my lungs as we speak.

Litigious Mind says:
Sucks to be you.

Officious Intermeddler says:
It's great to be me.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Wouldn't want to be anyone else.

Litigious Mind says:
I wish you were Mike Rowe.

Litigious Mind says:
*Poof*  Mike Rowe is sitting beside me!!!

Officious Intermeddler says:
haha.

Litigious Mind says:
I'd give him a hand job.

Litigious Mind says:
JUST KIDDING!!!

Officious Intermeddler says:
Oh my God.

Officious Intermeddler says:
No you weren't.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Sicko.

Litigious Mind says:
I made you laugh, didn't I?

Officious Intermeddler says:
Yeah, I almost lost it.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Would you repent?

Officious Intermeddler says:
I think you need to repent just for thinking of that.

Litigious Mind says:
If it were Mike Rowe?  That is a hard one (no pun intended).

Litigious Mind says:
I might just say carpe dickem.

Officious Intermeddler says:
OK, I'm gonna laugh.

Officious Intermeddler says:
Let's move on.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Weekend Fun

The posse went camping this weekend. As you can see from the photos, we are a classy bunch.





Also, I'm not sure how it happened, but while riding in the truck with a classmate on the way to the campground, she not only convinced me to drop a class and add another two weeks into the semester, but also to join the Bankrupcy Moot Court. (I know nothing about Bankrupcy law.) No, I had not been drinking at that point.

Friday, August 31, 2007

I Hate My Life

It's the Friday before Labor Day weekend, and although my blessed Federal Courts professor cancelled our 1:30 class today, I still have a 2:30 class, which means that I am practically the only person in the law building right now. Why am I here even? Why have I been here since nine-o-freaking-clock, you ask?

Because God hates me.



Or maybe because of law review. Damn it.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tiny, Tiny Hearts

If you need any more proof that Thomas, Rehnquist, and Scalia are/were astoundingly heartless, take a peak at Hope v. Pelzer, 536 U.S. 730 (2002).

In 1995, Alabama was the only State that followed the practice of chaining inmates to one another in work squads. It was also the only State that handcuffed prisoners to “hitching posts” if they either refused to work or otherwise disrupted work squads. Hope was handcuffed to a hitching post on two occasions. On May 11, 1995, while Hope was working in a chain gang near an interstate highway, he got into an argument with another inmate. Both men were taken back to the Limestone prison and handcuffed to a hitching post. Hope was released two hours later, after the guard captain determined that the altercation had been caused by the other inmate. During his two hours on the post, Hope was offered drinking water and a bathroom break every 15 minutes, and his responses to these offers were recorded on an activity log. Because he was only slightly taller than the hitching post, his arms were above shoulder height and grew tired from being handcuffed so high. Whenever he tried moving his arms to improve his circulation, the handcuffs cut into his wrists, causing pain and discomfort.

On June 7, 1995, Hope was punished more severely. He took a nap during the morning bus ride to the chain gang's worksite, and when it arrived he was less than prompt in responding to an order to get off the bus. An exchange of vulgar remarks led to a wrestling match with a guard. Four other guards intervened, subdued Hope, handcuffed him, placed him in leg irons and transported him back to the prison where he was put on the hitching post. The guards made him take off his shirt, and he remained shirtless all day while the sun burned his skin. He remained attached to the post for approximately seven hours. During this 7-hour period, he was given water only once or twice and was given no bathroom breaks. At one point, a guard taunted Hope about his thirst. According to Hope's affidavit: “[The guard] first gave water to some dogs, then brought the water cooler closer to me, removed its lid, and kicked the cooler over, spilling the water onto the ground.”


Care to take a guess at which three justices thought that the prison officals should be granted immunity for their actions because such actions did not violate "clearly established law?"

I Hate Law School Job Searching

There was a great post over on the LawBitches website today about selling out as a law student. Sadly, it is true, and it is exactly what I am going through right now.

Monday, August 27, 2007

You're Just Big Boned!

I must have a fairly healthy body image, because I have found these two conversations from the past month between myself and other people pretty hilarious:

Conversation #1:
Me: Grandma, when we go to church you're not going to introduce me like you did last time I went with you, right? When you told everyone I was your "stocky granddaughter?"

Grandma: I said that? Oh, you know, I didn't mean it in a bad sense. "Stocky" is just a word I use to mean the opposite of skinny.

Conversation #2:
Classmate #1: This year for the drag show we are having a male high-heel contest.

Classmate #2: (To me) I should get my boyfriend to borrow heels from you; you have considerable feet.

Me: No I don't! I wear a size eight, that's not that big.

Classmate #1: Yeah, that's not that big, I'm a ten.

Classmate #2: (To me) Yeah, that's not that big for your size.

Me: For my size?!?!

Classmate #3: (To Classmate #2) How does your calf taste?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Equal Douchebaggery Under The Law

If there was any doubt in my mind that medical students are just as big, if not bigger, douchebags as law students, it was effectively erased by the vanity license plate that I saw yesterday:

MEDSTUDT

Who does that? What's more, it is a particularly egregious offense considering that to be a medical student in this town, one must be a first year.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Shock and Awe

I spoke up in all of my THREE AFTERNOON CLASSES today (take note that it is Friday) and I believe I made coherent, logical sense. True, this is only the first week of school and the rest of my 3L classmates are probably thinking I'm a total douchebag (THAT GUY/GIRL that had to answer every question first semester 1L year) but I don't care. I'm in a mood to be a productive, interactive student. I'm gonna milk that 'til it's gone 'cause it ain't likely to stick around long. Besides, is there anything more uncomfortable than a room full of 50+ (allegedly) intellligent people sitting in TOTAL SILENCE when the professor asks a pretty easy question?

Okay, I can think of more uncomfortable things. One thing that comes to mind is getting pulled over on your way home at 10:30 at night for failing to make a complete stop at an intersection where you were the only car present and then discovering that you don't have current proof of insurance in your car. Fun times. Luckily for me I'm young, female, and moderately attractive, so I got to go home with just warnings on both. Thanks Officer Friendly!

P.S. Go watch Thursday's episode of The Colbert Report on the Comedy Central show website. It is so funny, I was almost crying at my carrel today.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Grievance Letter

Dear Law School Administrators,

You know what would be really great? IF YOU DIDN'T LOCK US OUT OF THE LAW BUILDING THE ENTIRE WEEKEND BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS!

Thanks,

Litigious Mind

Friday, August 17, 2007

ATTENTION!

If you know me and live in the same town that I live in now and you have cable...








... can I watch High School Musical: 2 with you tonight?

Pretty please???

Point to Ponder

It is a very good thing

(a) I live on the ground floor level of my building; and

(b) It is hot outside and I leave my windows open

because the frequency with which I lock myself out of my apartment is really becoming alarming.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Eh

I'm back in law school land.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Overheard at American Eagle

"She doesn't speak any French. All she knows is 'french toast' and 'french fries.' And that isn't even right."

I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear her say that last sentence.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Other People Like My TV Boyfriend, Too

I am highly amused that when "Mike Rowe" is entered into the Google search engine, the following appears:

Searches related to: mike rowe
mike rowe married
mike rowe shirtless


Sure, I googled him, too, but I'm not that shameless.

Or am I?

Monday, August 6, 2007

Vacation!

I am back from my trip to the state that is shaped like a mitten! I had a good time and swam lots in the big, big lake. My nine year-old cousin told me I was her "best friend" for five days, until the day we left when she downgraded me to "better friend." That little butthead is too cute. And my thirteen year-old cousin might actually have thought she was intimidating her older brothers by telling them to leave her alone because she has a lawyer (me). Ha! If only she knew...

Sadly the digital camera did not make it home so I don't have any pictures to show.

Also, I find it somewhat amusing that I have been jokingly telling friends for a couple years now that my paternal grandfather doesn't know who I am. (We've never been close.) Well, turns out my stories are now true! Have you ever had your own grandfather explain to you that he has a son named Jack who lives in Shelbyville, as if you were a stranger and not the niece of said Jack? Who just spent five days at Jack's house? Good times, good times. Also, he apparently thought I was my cousin for the entire first day we stayed with them, and it still took him another full day to actually use my name when talking to my father instead of referring to me as "your daughter."

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Lame Parents

I love this article. I myself have never been asked what the author is asked, but I agree with her other observations.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I Wonder What PETA Would Think Of This

Good Times

Despite the navigational mishaps suffered on the way back, my trip to a classmate's wedding was quite enjoyable.

I may or may not have worn my sexy red heels:


I may or may not have drank everything in this picture (and then some):


I may or may not have been a sight to behold on the dance floor:


I may or may not have sponsored a cleavage-baring contest:






I may or may not have repeatedly referred to a handsome teenage groomsman as Zac Effron.

I may or may not have woken up with a temporary tatoo of Eve and the Serpent in the Garden of Eden:

Friday, July 20, 2007

Question

If you were driving on a road trip and you, despite having driven TO the destination, didn't know which highways and interstates you want to be on and when to change to them, would you ask the people in the backseat who have written directions, or would you say nothing and drive 80 miles in the wrong direction until the people in the backseat take a break from their headphones and movie-watching to realize that they're on the wrong highway and have been for some time, and in fact are in a state that they did not know or want to be in?

Furthermore, after losing three hours to correct above problem, would you nevertheless again drive past a crucial interchange? Despite signs that say the town where you want to go? Or is it the fault of the person in the backseat who intended to take a short nap and fell asleep and didn't wake up until said interchange had passed because she did not tell the driver beforehand that change needed to occur at said location? DESPITE THE FACT THAT DRIVER DROVE THE SAME ROUTE IN REVERSE ONLY TWO DAYS BEFORE?

Thanks. I'd appreciate input on this.

Also, WTF is so hard about remembering that you changed highways? For the love of God, at least ASK if you're not sure where you're going, right?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

A Little Too Late

Um, where the heck was I during Advanced Legal Research last semester? Or more specifically, why has it taken until today for me to realize that Westlaw's KeySearch is frackin' fantastic? No wonder I got my lowest grade in law school in that class...

TV Boyfriend Update

A friend of mine today informed me that she believes Mike, my TV boyfriend, is not as good looking without his hat.



I may be willing to concede that. However, as I pointed out to her, our relationship is, how do I say it, imaginary, so I'm not too worried about that. It's not like we spend a lot of time together while he is sans hat. He wears hats on television, and that's all that matters to me:



Also, Mike without a hat is significantly better than the average... anyone.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Bluebook Nazi

I am ruthlessly grading law review write-on competition papers! I thrive on this power!

Law Funny

Call me a huge dork, but I'm very amused by this court's obvious exasperation:

We do not understand why the prosecutor would propose a modified instruction that affirmatively misstated the law. We do not understand why defense counsel did not object. We do not understand why the trial court gave an instruction that was contrary to our decision in Maggette. The jury instruction as to sexual penetration was clearly erroneous.

-People v. James, 773 N.E.2d 1176, 1180-81 (Ill. Ct. App. 2002).

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

My TV Boyfriend

In true Salieri fashion, I have chosen a TV boyfriend, and he is none other than Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs on The Discovery Channel. Do you watch this show? Who else could make poop and mud so entertaining? He may just be reason enough alone for me to get cable.

For your viewing pleasure:


Yum. Please marry me now, Mike. What's 21 years when you're in love?

Here it is again, just 'cuz it's so nice to look at...

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Law School Funnies

Nerdiest. Law school. Stuff. Ever.

Here's more:
This

The following links will likely only be funny to law students. Yes, we're that lame.
This
This
This
This
This

And my personal favorites:
This
This
This
This

Monday, July 2, 2007

Constitutional? You Decide!

Question:
Following a "terrorist" attack at an airport in Glasgow, Scotland, does it violate for Fourth Amendment for police in an American city frequently cited on television and movies to symbolize the podunk, hickish, middle-of-nowhere to set up random vehicle searches, complete with drug dogs, at the local airport?

To aid in this determination I will provide more information:

-There was a sign alerting drivers that they could be subject to random vehicle searches
-The sign was posted on a one-way street that leads towards the terminal (i.e., you really can't turn around once you see it)
-Everyone who has to drop someone off at the airport has to go on this street or risk missing their flight

Answer:
Probably not, damn it. Thanks Rehnquist, you enormous douchebag.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Why I Love Justice Stevens, Part 884,394

DEBORAH MORSE, et al., PETITIONERS v. JOSEPH FREDERICK (Stevens, J., dissenting)

A significant fact barely mentioned by the Court sheds a revelatory light on the motives of both the students and the principal of Juneau-Douglas High School (JDHS). On January 24, 2002, the Olympic Torch Relay gave those Alaska residents a rare chance to appear on national television. As Joseph Frederick repeatedly explained, he did not address the curious message--"BONG HiTS 4 JESUS"--to his fellow students. He just wanted to get the camera crews' attention. Moreover, concern about a nationwide evaluation of the conduct of the JDHS student body would have justified the principal's decision to remove an attention-grabbing 14-foot banner, even if it had merely proclaimed "Glaciers Melt!"

I agree with the Court that the principal should not be held liable for pulling down Frederick's banner.
See Harlow v. Fitzgerald, 457 U. S. 800, 818 (1982). I would hold, however, that the school's interest in protecting its students from exposure to speech "reasonably regarded as promoting illegal drug use," ante, at 1, cannot justify disciplining Frederick for his attempt to make an ambiguous statement to a television audience simply because it contained an oblique reference to drugs. The First Amendment demands more, indeed, much more.

The Court holds otherwise only after laboring to establish two uncontroversial propositions: first, that the constitutional rights of students in school settings are not coextensive with the rights of adults,
see ante, at 8-12; and second, that deterring drug use by schoolchildren is a valid and terribly important interest, see ante, at 12-14. As to the first, I take the Court's point that the message on Frederick's banner is not necessarily protected speech, even though it unquestionably would have been had the banner been unfurled elsewhere. As to the second, I am willing to assume that the Court is correct that the pressing need to deter drug use supports JDHS's rule prohibiting willful conduct that expressly "advocates the use of substances that are illegal to minors." App. to Pet. for Cert. 53a. But it is a gross non sequitur to draw from these two unremarkable propositions the remarkable conclusion that the school may suppress student speech that was never meant to persuade anyone to do anything.

In my judgment, the First Amendment protects student speech if the message itself neither violates a permissible rule nor expressly advocates conduct that is illegal and harmful to students. This nonsense banner does neither, and the Court does serious violence to the First Amendment in upholding--indeed, lauding--a school's decision to punish Frederick for expressing a view with which it disagreed.

Fun With Briefs

Thanks to my maddeningly repetitive but incredible effective legal and research writing professor, I spent at least and hour and a half today trying to write issue statements and headings for an appellate reply brief. Seeing as how "funnel! FUNNEL!" was pounded into my head for not one, not two, BUT THREE semesters, it is something that I take very seriously. I haven't had much of a problem with them this summer, but this was my first substantive brief.

But I'm pretty sure the majority of my difficulties come from the fact that the State's attorney either (1) COMPLETELY missed the argument we raised in the appellant's brief, or (2) decided to f*$k with our minds and just pretend that the issue on appeal is something entirely different from what we put forth in our original brief.

Let me tell you, writing issue statements and headings are not easy when you not only have to point out why you win, but also specifically state why the other guy is just plain wrong. At least, not when you want to keep the sentence under six lines, they're not.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Talk About Your Scrolldown Fug

When I was cruizing Go Fug Yourself today, my browser was posed so that only this much of Miss Tyra Banks was showing:


Not bad, I thought, I like that color. But then I scrolled down.

I believe my actual words were, "Holy God."

Friday, June 15, 2007

My Admiration Society

Once upon a time, when I had another blog that was way cooler than this one, I posted about how I love it when the outfits described in romance novels are purely horrific, but meant to be awesome. It is exponentially better when the romance novel takes place in the 1980's. I included some terrific quotes from some books, too, and they were doozies!

Not too long ago I was thrilled to discover that author Meg Cabot and I share a love of '80's romance novels and today I am extra happy to discover that The Fug Girls also share that love, and more specifically, the love of horribly described outfits in said novels.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Jailhouse Rock

Normally I'm not one to take pleasure from other people's pain, but man oh man, I find this just abso-frickin'-lutely hilarious!


You'd think she was sentenced to death row instead of county jail! I think we can safely say she won't be driving on a suspended license again. Ha!

Monday, June 4, 2007

There Are Advantages To Sloppiness

At least someone in the family appreciates the fact that I don't pick my clothes up off of the floor.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Random Stuff (Because I'm Too Lazy To Craft Separate Posts)

-The constant whistling from the closed AC vent in my office is less annoying than the freezing cold air that pounded down upon me daily.

-Hi, I'm #name omitted for privacy reasons#, and I'm a chocolate-covered-pretzel-aholic. I've been sober now about three months. (And I'm now a trail-mix-aholic.)

-This is already shaping up to be the best celebrity gossip year ever! Paris in jail? Lindsay getting a DUI with coke in the car? Fantastic! Send those hos away!

-I have lost my interest in reading. Even romance novels, really. I hope this is temporary.

-I would really like to know what it's like to have thighs that don't touch. At least for a day.

-I keep spending money that I don't really have. (Although, I do need new clothes because, sadly, the above tidbit is likely never to happen.)

-Many thanks to Justice William Brennan, Jr., for helping me get an A in Criminal Procedure. If it weren't my his quote on my blog, it might not have happened.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Well Really, What Could I Expect?

Okay, it's official now. I am certifiably the worst predicter of law school grades in the world. Also, this is my worst semester to date. Hooray! Wait...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Icky Picky Poo

Government attorneys have to do billing? And legal interns that are not getting paid to work in government attorney offices have to do pretend billing, too? WTF? This blows.

There goes about 99.3% of why I wanted to be a government attorney. Out the window.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Shame On Me

I totally just googled "The Bachelor" to see who wins 20 minutes before the end of the show. Interesting...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

AH!

I start my summer legal "job" tomorrow. I'm a little scared, but not as scared as my friend who has to prosecute people. Once they're already convicted/in jail, the stress really is off.

TV Land

Well, the Law and Order season finale proved to be quite the refresher course on Evidence! Prior bad acts! Best evidence rule! Sufficiently indictia of reliability! Although I must point out that I never heard the Confrontation Clause mentioned at any time. Clearly I'm not the only one who suffers from such constitutional amnesia.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

More Law and Romance

Before studying the First Amendment and how obscenity fits into freedom of expression, I had never heard of the word "prurient." So imagine my excitement when it turned up in a romance novel I'm reading right now!

He'd shifted so his shoulders effectively screened her from the room, but she had little doubt a certain amount of prurient interest was, nevertheless, focused on them.
—Stephanie Laurens, To Distraction

Never let it be said that it is inconsistent to be a law student and a lover of romance novels!

P.S. Sorry for all the romance novel posts lately, but I'm on vacation. This is what I do on vacation.

Phew!

Oh, thank you, Jesus!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Funny!

Was this title and cover an intentional joke? Because, seriously, how could anyone not look at this and think of farts? Tell me it's not just me.

What's The Diff?

I think I can say with 95% accuracy that Harlequin Presents romance novels are the most entertainingly-named books in the world. But they must be running out of ideas, because in May The Desert King's Virgin Bride was released, followed in June by The Sultan's Virgin Bride. I wouldn't be surprised if July yielded The Sheik's Virgin Bride, although it's more likely than not that's already been done.

UPDATE!
Thank you Google!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Get Involved

May is National Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month. Find out more here.

Don't Get Me Started, Don't Even Get Me Started...

Don't Get Me Started, Don't Even Get Me Started...

I can't tell you how many times over the past few years I've found myself saying that line and wondering where the heck it came from. I was pretty sure it was from Saturday Night Live, and a little more sure it was a Molly Shannon character but I could not remember for the life of me! Lucky for me Molly was the host tonight and she did a bunch of her old characters, one that was the female mullet-wearing comic Jeannie Darcy who frequently says, "Don't get me started. Don't even get me started."

I love it when I have resolution to things like that are bugging me!

THIS JUST IN!

I hate Microsoft Live Mail more than I hate the mannequin I saw at Macy's yesterday that had leggins on under bermuda shorts.

I Heart Meg Cabot

As if I needed another reason to love Meg Cabot. But she gave me one anyway with her hilarious defense-of-romance-novel-readers/favorite-romances post (I can't seem to get a permalink, so it's the May 11, 2007 entry if you're confused). I love steamy romances written in the 1980's, too! There's nothing better! In the perfect world, Meg and I would be best friends...

Vote For Which Book I Should Read First This Summer!