Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Dear Academic Support Lady:

Look, I realize that it's your job to help law students with a whole range of academic support issues, and I realize that mass emails are a quick and easy way to get the word out. But I honestly don't know why you felt like you needed to send out a mass email to all the 3Ls telling us about a "How To Take Law School Exams" workshop.

We're 3Ls. We've been in law school for four full semesters. WE KNOW HOW TO TAKE LAW SCHOOL EXAMS.

Sincerely,

Litigious Mind

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

HOLY COW!

How did I not know about this website until now?!?!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Kill Me Now

Next semester's schedule is looking like this:

Negotiable Instruments
Creditor's Rights
Remedies
Advanced Legal Writing
Community Property

I WANT TO DIE.

Last Night's Ugly Betty

TV doesn't really make me laugh-out-loud much anymore, but last night's episode of Ugly Betty did. When she was instant messaging the guy from the on-line dating site? When she accidently typed "I like blowing" instead of "I like bowling"?

Soooo funny.

Maybe it's because we law students are obsessed with instant messaging and often mistype things and we like making dirty jokes that like that.

Lame Rant That No One Other Than Law Geeks Will Appreciate

We are studying the Eleventh Amendment and "sovereign immunity" in Federal Courts right now, and the majority opinion in Alden v. Maine is so ridiculous that I can hardly stand it!

The Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution says that:
The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.

From this, the majority in Alden decides that a state cannot be sued by citizens of that state (i.e., non-foreign) IN THEIR OWN STATE COURT (i.e., NOT federal courts--the "judicial power of the United States").

You know, often times I don't get as worked up as my professor in Federal Courts, but I'm with him 100% on this. This is so stupid. The Court actually reaches it's opinion based upon what is NOT said in the Constitution. They are immunizing states when they break the law because of "the Founder's silence."

WTF.

Justice?

It's about time.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My Rant About Carrie Underwood

I used to go off about how much I hate Carrie Underwood on my old blog, and if that blog was still around I would link to all those posts. But since it's not, I'll just have to start all over again.

It annoys me to no end that Carrie Underwood has become the darling of country music. People are creaming themselves over her for, what is to me anyway, no apparent reason. The other day on the radio a DJ actually said that "we all pretty much know that Carrie Underwood is synonymous with beauty." What?! No, no we don't. Sure, she's pretty, but she's not out of this world beautiful. Urgh!!!

She is a good singer, I will give her that, but I don't think that she performs any vocal acrobatics. Martina McBride and Faith Hill could sing circles around her ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

And the awards! They drive me up the wall! Her music is not very good! It is simplistic and asinine! But Jesus Take The Wheel won multiple GRAMMYs, despite being horrifically bad. And her new song, So Small is just as bad:

When you figure out that love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem so small


You know what, Carrie? Don't patronize me. Love is not all that matters after all. So despite the fact that this song is about a trite saying that has been around forever (Love Is All You Need, anyone?), it's a big fat lie that we're supposed to swallow just because Carrie Underwood sings it? No.

God, country radio makes me mad. It is just so ridiculously bad, as evidenced by the fact that Carrie Underwood beat out Martina McBride's I Still Miss Someone for the GRAMMY. Urgh...

Pondering

I'm trying to decide if it was a good or a bad decision to study for the MPRE exam while watching Dirty Sexy Money on ABC last night. It was probably a bad thing as far as enjoying the program went, because it's hard to lose yourself in the story when everything that the main-character lawyer does seems ethically suspect.

But at the same time, it was a handy exercise for testing my knowledge of the conflict-of-interest rules.

Bottom line: It just doesn't seem possible for one attorney to represent an entire family. And, how stupid do the writers think we are? When Tripp Darling asked Nick to "draw up a document" that would extend his childrens' trusts for five more years, I just rolled my eyes. HELLO?! Tripp was not the settlor of the trust! His wife's father was! There's no way he could alter the terms of the trust!

Dude

I know that there are a lot of people in the world that are not medically "normal" as society would consider them. Some things go wrong in the mysterious thing called a brain. I know that I should be tolerant about that.

But dude. The guy in the coffee shop where I am currently trying to study for the MPRE has some weird form of Tourettes that makes him yelp quite loudly every twenty or so seconds. Sometimes more frequently. Imagine really loud hiccups if you will.

This is quite annoying.

My tolerance is fraying.

Question

Does it make me a bad person that I really couldn't care less about the wildfires in southern California? That I don't care that the obscenely wealthy are losing their obscenely extravagant homes? That I don't care that average folk are losing their homes either since they were foolish enough to live in the hell-hole that is southern California and foolish enough to build homes where nature cannot sustain that much human presence?

I have a feeling that it does. But I blame my ambivalence on shows like Laguna Beach, The Hills, and My Super Sweet Sixteen. Lord knows those people could use a reality check.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

With Friends Like This...

(Background information—I recently changed my Instant Messenger name)

in your face, marathon says:
i hardly even realized your name! did you get married over the weekend?

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
yes, yes I did

in your face, marathon says:
wow

in your face, marathon says:
so, how's mike in bed?

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
he's everything i ever hoped he would be and more

in your face, marathon says:
haha

in your face, marathon says:
hopefully he's not just filming his next episode....

in your face, marathon says:
*KIDDING!*

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
you are such a bitch

in your face, marathon says:
that one was just too good to pass up

Mrs. Mike Rowe says:
you are also lucky that my class has not started yet because i just laughed out loud

in your face, marathon says:
haha

Monday, October 22, 2007

All The Good Ones Are Gone

It seems like all the good guys are taken. How many times have I said that to myself? Too many, it seems. But seriously, the vast majority of the guys at law school that I think are really nice and fun to be around are married. I was telling a friend of mine about that this weekend and she pointed out that there is something different about married men, like they don't have anything to prove, etc. I think she's right.

There is something to be said about being friends with married men. First off, I can be myself around them, because the first clue that I am attracted to a guy is that I won't talk to them. Yes, yes, that might be a factor in my singleness, but you get the point. There's no reason to be awkward around a married guy.

Second, there is (hopefully) never the worry that your married male friend will suddenly develop a crush on you. Girls, you know how nice that assurance is, especially considering how men tend to have the habit of developing attractions to you even if you never talk to or encourage them whatsoever.

And finally, I think that my friend was right. When a guy has already landed and legally bound himself to a woman, it seems as if they're much more comfortable around women in general. Because they don't have to worry about whatever it is that men worry about when they're single and around women? I don't know. Whatever the reason, married guys tend to be more outgoing and funnier than a lot of their single counterparts at my school. Or maybe it's not marriage that has induced the change but rather that they are cooler guys to begin with and that's why a woman has already agreed to marry them... Oh well, it's the chicken or the egg problem, I guess.

That's my piece.

Random Stuff

-I ordered a new battery for my laptop today. I must say that I am slightly concerned by all the one-star reviews for the product on the Apple website, but my old battery has done the trick for three years now, and I'm pretty sure that I am not using "energy -saving tips." I just hope it's not $140 wasted.

-Speaking of the above, why do all things seem to break down at once? My Apple computer battery, my PC computer screen (which I need for taking final exams), the locking mechanism in my car door. Thankfully my knee joint turned out to be not broken. Phew!

-I really need to stop borrowing complete seasons of television shows on DVD from my friend. I have spent the past two weeks watching pretty much nothing but Deadwood and Firefly. News? What is news? And since my friend only has seasons one and two of Deadwood, I am going to have to spend money to rent the final season. Urgh! (Because really, not watching it is not an option.)

-I'm pretty sure that watching the aforementioned Deadwood has desensitized me to a number of obscenities. Anyone who watches the show knows which ones I'm talking about. Luckily I am showing no proclivity for using those obscenities myself. I don't think that the law school community would appreciate my calling everyone a "c&@#s%!*er." Just a hunch.

-I should probably invest in a dayplanner, since I never seem to know what is going on regarding anything ever. It's starting to be a problem.

-I hope the actors at the haunted house I went to this weekend were not offended that I laughed at them when they jumped out at me more than I screamed.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dear 2L Student:

There have been many times in Wills this semester when your comments have made me want to claw your eyes out in annoyance, but since you seem like a pretty good guy, I just sit there and take it like a woman. However, this week you have provided the class with such priceless material that I have been moved to share them with my blog readers.

I appreciated you showcasing your lack of arithmatic abilities on Wednesday when, in answer to the professor's question of what 2/7ths divided by 4 was, you insisted the answer was 1/13th. And when the rest of us grumbled, and you so confidantly lectured, "Listen, 2/28ths, that's 1/13th," it was a moving moment, indeed.

But nothing could top the keen insight that you displayed today on the discussion of who should have the right to a dead man's frozen sperm. It truly was priceless when you speculated that producing the frozen sperm "could not have been a painless process."

Oh, dear 2L... at least we know that you will never suffer the indignity of blindness or hairy palms.

My Obligatory Post

I have been urged by members of my tiny, tiny fanbase to post more on this blog, and because I must pander to the cries of the half-dozen, I have complied.

Now all that remains is to decide what I should post about.

Perhaps I should return to one of my favorite subjects—marriage and dating. I remember about three years ago, when I was just barely able to legally drink, a girl that I had gone to high school with and who had been a year behind me in school was expecting her first child. She had gotten married the year before and I was telling her mother that it was seemed so strange to think that Sally was going to be a mom. Her mother responded by good-naturedly saying, "You're all that at time in your lives. You're at that age."

Her comment struck me and has stayed with me for these three years because I remember that my immediate reaction was to think "Hell no, I'm not at that time! Are you crazy? I'm 21 years old!!!"

I still maintain that she was wrong. Me and my high school acquaintances were not at that age. However... we (or they) definitely are now. I am now the last of my four best friends from high school to be married or engaged. I'm totally cool with that, and I love all of them and their hubbies/fiancees/babies. But I can no longer deny that I am not "at that age," especially considering that my high school acquaintances are reproducing in mass quantities. Every time I log onto MySpace it seems as if there is a new pregnancy or baby picture.

Now, I am not one of those young women who, inexplicably, do not love babies. I love me some babies. Babies and puppies get me everytime. I am not at all fazed by the fact that everyone around me is making good use of the utereses (don't even get me started on how many of my law school classmates are expecting bundles of joy).

(How can you look at this and not melt? HOW?)

Hmm, where was I going with this now?

Oh yeah. While all these married people used to bother me quite a bit, in the past year or so I've noticed that my attitude has changed considerably. I don't care anymore. I've finally realized that whatever those people choose to do with their lives has no bearing on mine whatsoever. And what's more, I no longer try to convince myself that I'm right and they're wrong and they'll all be divorced someday anyway. Although frankly, my Family Law class has soured me even more on marriage for myself. But the point is that I've come to be quite happy with the way my life is right now.

I have the best friends in the world. They are so funny that coming to law school every day is a positive experience because I know that they will make me laugh and smile more times than I can count. I think this is why I don't feel like something is wrong with me, or that something is missing in my life, just because I'm not married. What is the good in marriage other than being with someone that makes you happy? I don't feel like I'm missing that because I have great friends that make me happy everyday.

So my advice to anyone that is feeling like they have to get married (especially if you are at a ridiculous age to be thinking that—like 24) is to figure out why you feel like you are missing something because you're not married. Maybe there's a void in your life or a lack of fun and happiness in your life for a reason other than no spouse. Try to figure out what that is and work on that. Because let me tell you, even though I have no personal experience, I don't think that getting married will make you happy if you're not happy to begin with.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Dumb Boys

I don't like to compare class rank with people. One, because it's rude. Two, because I am convinced that class rank has little to do with intelligence and even less to do with a person's potential for success as an attorney.

However, there are sometimes when I will pull rank.

Why is it difficult for men to realize that although I am female, blonde, and often goofy, I am not less intelligent than they are? If there is one thing that I hate, it is being condescended to by male classmates. For instance, while telling a story about how I was hit by a softball with a line-drive to the forehead while pitching in eighth grade P.E. class, a classmate felt inclined to remark that I "never recovered." If this was the first time I had been condescended to by this particular person, I would have let it slide. But the accumulative effect was enough that I lost my temper and snapped, "Oh really? And what's your ranking?"

Was it rude? Yes. Do I wish I hadn't said it? Yes. But nevertheless I think that something needs to be said in those types of situations. Because I'm not holding out hope that the men of my generation will stop feeling like they have to make fun of intelligent women to keep their male egos satisfied.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Words of Wisdom From My State and Local Government Professor

“Bloomfield Hills? That’s not Detroit, you honky mo-fo.”

Thursday, October 4, 2007

At Least He's Honest

I came across this excerpt from a case while doing research a while back. I don't remember which case it was from, but I do remember that it made an impression...

During the jury selection process, the district court told the prospective jurors, “I'll be honest with you. Of course most of the people charged are guilty.” After making the statement, the district court said, “There. I said it. Big secret. Well, guess what? It's not always the case.”

Synopsis of 3L Year To Date

-Classes are waaaaayyyyyyyy better than first semester last year, when Constitutional Law was the only class that did not make me want to put my head in a gas oven/jump out of a window. I thought my B.A., Sales, and Admin Law professors were great, but oh holy hell, did I hate those classes. This year Family Law is AWESOME! I love talking about stuff that doesn't require a legal mind, but rather common sense and an understanding of people. And Federal Courts is a delight, especially when the professor asks, "If any of you are planning on voting Republican in the upcoming election, could you please explain to me why?"

-After two full years of law school, I think I've started to perfect the art of not reading the material but still understanding everything that we're talking about. Fabulous.

-I like being a 3L. Suddenly I want to participate in everything, because who cares what I do? I'm at the top of the mountain, now!

-Still no job, but oh well. I'll get something eventually.

Criminal Procedure In Action

Braveheart says:
WTF.  There is a dead cat in my yard.

Litigious Mind says:
Ick.

Litigious Mind says:
Call McDoodle to come do CPR

Litigious Mind says:
She loves kitties

Braveheart says:
LMAO

Braveheart says:
Stupid police department

Litigious Mind says:
What?

Braveheart says:
They're not sure if animal control will pick it up because it's IN my yard

Litigious Mind says:
What?

Braveheart says:
I said, "well, it's about 3 feet fromt the street."

Litigious Mind says:
NOW they respect the curtilege of your home?