Monday, December 29, 2008

What Not To Do As A Defense Attorney

"[A]t defense counsel's request, the trial judge appointed Dr. Gerow to conduct a psychiatric evaluation of Sechrest. Using Dr. Gerow's evaluation, defense counsel sought to determine whether Sechrest was fit to stand trial, and to investigate the possibility of an insanity defense.

Dr. Gerow interviewed and evaluated Sechrest. He then submitted a report addressed to defense counsel marked 'Confidential.' The report contained information about Sechrest's criminal history and past drug use. In the report, Dr. Gerow stated that Sechrest had a 'polymorphous perversion. After reviewing the report and speaking with Dr. Gerow, defense counsel decided not to call Dr. Gerow as a witness at the penalty phase and not to pursue an insanity defense.

The prosecutor then asked defense counsel to permit the use of Dr. Gerow's report and to permit the prosecutor to call Dr. Gerow as a prosecution witness during the penalty phase. Defense counsel, who last communicated with Dr. Gerow about two months before trial, stipulated to the prosecution's request and did not object when Dr. Gerow took the stand. Dr. Gerow testified that he had evaluated Sechrest at defense counsel's request. He further testified that Sechrest was an 'incurable sociopath' with an extensive criminal record and a history of drug use."


Luckily, the Ninth Circuit stuck it to the defense attorney, calling his actions "inexplicab[e]" and "indefensible."

Maybe I'VE Got It Wrong

Number of people who have wished me "Happy Birthday" yesterday and today:

4

Number of days until my birthday:

1

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dear Author


Dear Ms. Ferrarella and eHarlequin.com,

I like to read romances for the grown-up stuff, if you get my drift, not because I want to know about some little kid who needs to see a psychologist due to some sob story. Please take note of that before you offer up another Lifetime Movie Network-esque story as a free eBook. Call me a cold-hearted bitch, but single moms with f'ed up kids ain't exactly my cup of escapism tea. I can go to WalMart for that.

Thanks,
Litigious Mind

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads...


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Annoying

Today I was looking at a wedding website for guy I've known casually for a while. I am quite cynical when it comes to weddings and marriages, especially those of couples who go from meeting to married in less than a year. But despite those inclinations I found myself feeling happy for them. I know he is a genuinely nice guy, and his fiancee seems like a good catch.

But then I got to the wedding party page.

Because I've known the groom for a while, I know that he is one of four brothers and I'm pretty sure he is the first to get married. All his brothers are in the wedding party. And apparently all but one of the bridesmaids are married, because after the name of the only single girl they wrote, "And yes, she's single."

There was no similar mention for the three single groomsmen.

I wonder if they asked this girl's permission before they added that. If not, I think that's kind of a (wedding) party foul. If my friend had done that to me at her wedding I would have been pretty pissed. People will discover on their own who is single and who isn't at a wedding. Is it really necessary to call such attention to it and practically advertise this girl's status? And why no similar treatment of the single men? (Hmm, maybe they're dating someone. But still. Party foul on calling out her status like that.)

I think this just annoys me because at the last wedding I was at I felt more single than I've ever felt in my entire life, and I have a feeling the single groomsmen didn't feel that way. I don't know what it is about our upbringings or society that make single women feel like we're more of a noteworthy phenomenon than single men, but I think it's bullshit. It's even more bullshit that I buy into it despite myself.

(Maybe I'm reading too much into this. The single girl was pretty attractive... more so than the single men. Were her friends just guessing that more people would be interested in her relationship status? Hmm...)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

If You Want To Feel Old...

...Try sitting next to a woman at a concert who says, "My parents have been fans of Sheryl Crow since I was born!"

If you DON'T want to feel old, try not to clearly remember when you bought "Tuesday Night Music Club" shortly after it was released. *sob* God, I'm old! (Hopefully she was just overestimating how long Sheryl Crow has been around.)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Go West, Young Ad Execs

Have you seen the commercial for the new BlackBerry where the narrator types in "Reno Nevada" and says "Reno Ne-vaw-da"?

It annoys the hell out of me. Especially because the whole point of the commercial is that the BlackBerry will enter the right word or something, even if you type it wrong. The narrator makes some smarmy comment about it getting "Reno Nevada" instead of "Pinot Fritata." I find it ironic considering that the narrator himself can't pronounce the state right.

I think it annoys me so much because I can't understand why people back east don't seem to know anything about the west. They say "Or-eh-gone" and "Ne-vah-da." And they don't even know where the damn states are. I went to a conference last month and met someone who seriously didn't know where my state was geographically. And he was a lawyer! (Even worse, he just started working in a state that's in the same federal circuit as my state. WTF, idiot?)

Western states are big! And there aren't even very many of them! I've never been to the northeast but I still know where all those little, numerous states are! Grr!

Next time the big-shot NYC ad agencies should do a little research and learn how to pronounce a state if they're going to use it in their commercial. Because they're just pissing us Westerns off.

An Observation

Have you ever noticed that the people who always talk about working out or going to the gym on their Facebook status are the people who look like they don't work out?

Monday, December 8, 2008

I'm Not As Dumb As My Spelling Indicates

Just to clarify again, typing on an iPhone is hard. I leave out letters or put the wrong one in often. The iPhone tries to help by guessing and automatically changing some misspelled words. (It also refuses to recognize very common words such as shit, hell, and fuck, which get changed to shut, he'll, and duck. Seriously. What's with the curse-lock?)

But I must also say that I don't correct these mistakes because when I go into Blogger to edit a post, all the apostrophes and quotation marks turn into weird things like "quot3&" or whatever the heck the HTML thing is. It is such a pain in the ass to change each one back that I just don't edit posts. I see the errors, I know they're there. I'm just too lazy to proofread and edit.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sorry

I owe an apology to my liver, for making it work all day Saturday.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Murder and the Media

Something has been bothering me lately. I watch the "Today Show" every morning, and there are two murder cases that they routinely report on. The first involves Amanda Knox, the American exchange student charged with killing her British roommate in Italy. The second is Casey Anthony, the mother of the missing girl in Florida.

These two cases have been treated very differently, which I find interesting. The media coverage of the Knox case has primarily been aimed at criticism of the Italian system, pointing out each and every weakness and painting Knox as an all-American girl. A number of defense attorneys have appeared as commentators. The "Today Show" even did a segment on what to do if your child gets charged overseas.

Anthony, on the other hand has been villainized. The media talks as if she's already been convicted and constantly points out everything bad she's ever done. This week "Today" did a segment airing video and audio of her jailhouse conversations with her family, and they kept talking about her shows of emotion like it was totally uncharacterisric. And I've seen primarily former prosecutors be interviewed as commentators.

Here's what gets me: while neither woman has been convicted, from an objective standpoint, the evidence against Knox is much more damning than the evidence against Anthony. Knox was in the house when the murder occurred, and she was high and/or drunk that night. In contrast, there's no body in Anthony's case! Sure, the circumstantial evidence is bad, but there's little to no direct evidence that her daughter is even dead.

So why has the media taken such opposite approaches to these cases? Both should be presumed innocent, but that seems to only apply to Knox, who was high on coke during what appeared to be a sex orgy, which ended in a grusome murder. I'm not saying she's guilty, but I am saying that Anthony should get the same treatment in her case. There's just a part of me that feels like we've all convicted Anthony already because she might not have been a good mother. And we're ignoring the bad-girl behavior of Knox, mostly because of our patronizing attitudes towards a foreign criminal justice system. Guess what? Our system ain't perfect either. Anthony isn't guilty just because she was indicted in the good ol' U. S. of A.

Woman Crush

As longtime readers now, I have a girl crush on Rihanna (because she is wonderful). But as I'm watching Season 2 of "Alias" I'm discovering that I also have a woman crush on Lena Olin. She is fantastic! I hear she blows your socks off in "The Reader" so I might have to go see that. (Also because I heart Ralph Fiennes, no matter how poorly he's aged.)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

GRAMMY Time!

GRAMMY nominations are out! And if there is a God in heaven Lee Ann Womack's "Last Call" will beat out Carrie Underwood's screechfest "Last Name" (Seriously, WTF? Look, I get by now that Carrie will get an obligatory nod each year, I'm resigned to that. But "Last Name"? Was "So Small" not eligible?)

I'm also rooting for Sugarland's "Stay" to sweep. I like Sugarland; they don't make my ears bleed like all the nominees for Best Country Vocal Performance by a Male Artist do. ("In Color" is truly horrendous.) And Patty Loveless is up for Best Country Album? I haven't heard her new one but I freakin'; love her!

In non-country categories, I'm pulling for Alison Krauss & Robert Plant, Leona Lewis, AND RIHANNA!!! That's right, bitches! My girl-crush's "Disturbia"; is up for best dance song! Hells yeah! (Her "If I Never See Your Face Again" collaboration with Maroon 5 also got nominated.) My vote also goes to Stephen Colbert (spoken word), Kathy Griffin (comedy), and "Walk Hard" from The Dewey Cox Story (song written for a movie).

More WTF: The Jonas Brothers?!?! And yahoo.com calling no nominations for Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus a "shocker"? Have they heard Miley sing? Newsflash---she's not good! And Taylor is nowhere NEAR on par with Martina McBride, Trisha Yearwood, Leann Rimes, Lee Ann Womack, and yes, even Carrie Underwood. Her lack of a nomination is not surprising considering who did get one.

UPDATE: LeAnn Rimes also sounds great on her nominated song "What I Cannot Change." I think she or Lee Ann Womack should win, but we all know Carrie Underwood will get it. Urgh!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Nostalgia

I've been feeling very nostalgic lately. Today I traveled back to high school by listening to Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy." Man, those were good times.

And since Sunday I've entertained myself by watching Season One of "Alias." Oh my God, did I love me some "Alias" in college. I remember watching it every week with my sister my freshman year. Watching these DVDs has only reminded me how much that show kicked ass. I've got the complete first and second seasons, but now I'm wanting the whole thing!

But if I don't get them, I have the next best thing. In the (altered) words of Westly/Farm Boy/Dread Pirate Roberts, "There's a shortage of perfect [things] in this world. [Erin's "Alias" recaps on Television Without] pity [is one of them]."

Seriously, they are f'ing amazing. Delightful incarnate. And I discovered they are still online. Hooray!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

He Can Nog My Egg Anyday

More Of The Same

I know, I know, I bitch way too much about blonde female country singers, but I can't help myself. Here I go again.

Taylor Swift has some holiday songs on iTunes. I took a listen to some of them today and, in my opinion, they are not so good. Some are better than others. I think she pulls of "Last Christmas" pretty well. But she absolutely does not pull off "Santa Baby."

First, I really don't think she's that great of a singer. I think she is a talented songwriter, despite the fact that I don't like any of her songs. (But hey, she's only eighteen, and I imagine her writing will improve once she has something to write about other than teenage boys). But being a good songwriter doesn't necessary make someone a good singer. From what I've heard of her new album (which is solely of "Love Story") either her vocal quality or her vocal-altering technology has improved, but that still can't cure the fact that she is only eighteen and she still sounds like a kid. And "Santa Baby" is not a song you want to hear a kid sing. There's just no believability in it for me, sorry Taylor. If you want to hear a credible cover of the song, check out Kelly Willis's version. She's simple and still sexy in her take on it. Taylor's cute, but she's still got a way to go before she reaches sexy. That is, assuming she ever will in her singing.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Amused and Annoyed

I am both amused, and annoyed, by all the harsh critcism of the Twilight books (and movie). My amusement comes from the readers of a certain romance novel blog I read, because I have seen some books reviewed on there that look and sound f'ing insane. And all the talk about how bad they are? HELLO? The vast majority of romance novels are just as bad if not worse!

I personally take great enjoyment from the utter ridiculousness of the books, so I don't understand all the serious criticism. I have read J. R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood vampire series, and there is some fucked up shit in those books. Trust me, that woman is disturbed. But those books are insanely popular in the romance genre. What makes that nastiness okay but Twilight's wholesome silliness so destestible? For me, the cheesier the better. (As evidenced by my turning to my friend in the theater after seeing a trailer for "Fired Up" and saying "I am so going to see that.")

And I'm annoyed by all the criticism because all these people are looking down on us Twilight fans, as if we're lame losers or something. I suggest they all lighten up. If Twilight wasn't your thing, that's fine. But some of us like a story about cute teenage vampires that romp around the rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula. And you know what? That's okay. (Also, these people who don't understand the "phenomena" need to remember that the fan base is primarily pre-teen and teenage girls---and those of adults with a Peter Pan complex.)

I also maintain that this is not at all like my criticism of Carrie Underwood fans. My biggest beef with her is her undeserved awards. Twilight detracters can start squawking in earnest if Twilight starts winning literature awards, but I don't think that's likely to occur anytime soon.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Acting Is For Professionals

Oh good god. Would someone please, PLEASE inform a certain local credit union that just because your employees are thin and cute doesn't mean they will be good in a commercial. I don't even hear anything they say when the ad comes on. All I can do is look at their vacant, teleprompter-reading stares and hear their monotone voices. THEY ARE TERRIBLE! Platinum blonde hair and lots of makeup does not an actress make! Hire someone who can sound more human than robot!

I am so disgusted by this commercial. It had to have been cast by a man. There's no other alternative. Only a man would think that attractiveness is more important than sounding like a person. They must also have been trying to save money by hiring employees instead of actors, because I've seen plenty of local commercials that feature atteactive, natural-sounding women that don't have zombie eyes.

Way To Go, PEOPLE!

As you may know, PEOPLE magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" issue is out. And they showed excellent, excellent taste this year!

First, the main prize went to Hugh Jackman who I love. And second, the list included almost every celebrity man I "admire" (Code for "wanna get busy with.") Among the featured were:
--Daniel Craig (duh)
--Jon Hamm
--Mike Rowe (yes!)
--Prince Harry
--Zac Efron (shut up--he's cute)
--Ed Westwick (I love Chuck Bass)
--Robert Buckley (the cute guy from "Lipstick Jungle")

I am so happy to see that PEOPLE is broadening it's horizons. I'm so sick of George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I am over Brad Pitt! Mike Rowe is where it's at!

Now, there were some ridiculous omissions. Hello? Where was the dreamy John Legend? And the very cute Jason O'Mara? WTF?

(UPDATE: Jason O'Mara is featured in "Sexy At Any Age" for 36. Man, were they ever right on the money this year!)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bad Grammar Makes Me [sic]

Holy hell, I apologize for all the atrocious errors in my last post. But please understand that blogging from an iPhone makes things difficult.

That is still no excuse for using "there" instead of "their," but still. Tapping with one finger on a tiny screen isn't easy.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Mommies

There was an interesting post today on Feministing. Not so much because of the post itself, but rather for the comments.

There's so much controversy about motherhood, apparently. There's a part of me that agrees with the posters who defended the advertisements, but if they are anything like me they need to be more honest about there true feelings.

I make fun if the helicoptor-type moms for one reason. Often unwittingly they make those of us without children feel that we are viewed as inadequate. And personally I get tired of their equating their doing what every mammal on earth can do with my B.S. in Biochemistry and my J.D. Sure, motherhood is hard work, but so is law achiol, and that should count for something.

So it makes me feel better to assume that there is psychologically wrong with these mothers. And like the blog commenters, I like to think that they have empty, unsatisfying lives---because that would prove them wrong.

So we can try to justify our views all we want, but I think deep down it's just a matter of letting other people's life choices piss us off. That's our real issue. I think those posters should admit it to themselves. If we're right, then what should we care? Even if they are pathetic women whose lives revolve around their child, that's not something we should be satisfied about. And if we're wrong---who cares? I still don't want a baby (now) and they won't know the perks if a law career.

Oops, here's the link. Moms Take Down Motrin.

Friday, November 14, 2008

More Country Music Stuff

So Carrie Underwood won Best Female Artist AGAIN. I have just one thing to say:

Even a shard of glass looks like a diamond when it's sitting on a pile of shit.

Puppy Love

So, I read something on People.com today that I thought was pretty funny. Apparently 18 year-old country singer Taylor Swigt has been speaking out about her ex-boyfriend, teen heartthrob Joe Jonas, writing songs about him, etc. I guess she went on "Ellen" and told the whole world that he broke up with her in a 27-second phone call.

Well, according to People.com, Joe is striking back and clearing things up. He says that the phone call lasted 27 seconds only because SHE hung up on him when it became clear where he was going with the conversation.

I guess I find this so amusing because Taylor is doing exactly what I woild have done when I was young and stupid. And also because, if you haven't noticed, EVERY one of her songs is about boys, love, etc. Knowing that she is just some kid who does silly kid stuff when her boyfriend breaks up with her makes it hard for me to take her music seriously. She's singing about teenage love. And as most of us have learned, puppy love is not as big of a deal as we thought it was at the time. Maybe someday Taylor will figure that out and sing about something I will care about.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Check This Out

Keith Olbermann has a cool special comment on Prop 8's passage. Check it out.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27650743/


I Think I Might Have Been Right...

I'm watching Matt Lauer's interview with Sarah Palin right now and I can't help but think that my gut feeling was right.

Because she was the first female on the Republican ticket, I always wanted to think she was not as incompetent as she sometimes seemed during her interviews. Don't get me wrong--I had no love for her policies and beliefs, but I took no joy in the way she was ridiculed because I didn't think it was nessesary or flattering to women. And I maintained that it had to be the pressure the McCain campaign was putting on her.

Matt just asked Gov. Palin if the campaign kept her from doing more interviews than she would have liked to. She pretty much said yes. And she seems much more comfortable in an interview now that the campaign is over.

I'm not saying that she was a victim of the big bad man, McCain. Obviously she should be able to take care of herself. But despite my dislike of her policies, I can't help but get pissed when I think about the campaign mishandled her. First they pick someone who clearly hasn't been vetted because they want to capitalize on her gender. It apparently didn't matter to them at that time that she wasn't ready to be president. Then they try to turn her into a robot, which only makes her flubs seem even worse. And they keep her from doing interviews because they don't want the world to find out that they made a mistake in picking her, which makes the few interviews she did do seem more awkward. And when she clearly gets tired of being treated like a robot, they tell the media she's a "diva" or "going rogue." And now that they lost the campaign they're talking shit about her and trying to pass the blame.

I said this two weeks ago and I'll say it again. I have no problem with Palin going out and hanging herself with her own rope. I may not like to see an unqualified woman take center stage, but that's equal treatment. What I DON'T like is some man putting her out there and then hanging her when she doesn't turn out to be just what he wanted.

THAT was the real Palin problem the campaign had, and they've got no one to blame but themselves.

Monday, November 10, 2008

A Message to President-Elect and Mrs. Obama

Hey there. There's just something I have to say.

I read recently in US Weekly that Barack and Malia were going to start reading the Twilight books together. While I think that it is really cool how they have those reading experiences to share, in no way do I think those books are appropriate for a ten year old! They are essentially romance novels, and by the end of the series things get sexual. Ten is too young, I think, to be reading about a girl whose entire life centers around her boyfriend.

So I just wanted to let you guys know, in case the story was true and in case you weren't aware of what those books were really about. "Young Adult"; is really starting to mean it's for young ADULTS.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Testing

Now I'm testing to see if I can post pictures on my blog from my iPhone. Does my picture show up?



Oops

Well, as you can see from my last post, this whole posting-through-email thing doesn't accept HTML.

Ah, Technology

So, I just found out that I can post to my blog through email, which is pretty cool. At least it's cool since I can do it through my iPhone. Yay!

I had something to blog about when I started this post, but now I can't remember what it is...

Oh yeah! John Legend! I got his new album <i>Evolver</i> and it's awesome! As I like to say, his music has me "twitterpated." My favorite songs are <i>Floating Away</i>, <i>Cross the Line</i>, and <i>This Time</i>. Check it out!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

What A Bore

So, I fear that I'm one of those people that has nothing to talk about now that the election is over. After a whole summer of watching Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow--not to mention living with my election-obsessed family--I suddenly feel like I have nothing to talk about to people.

It certainly doesn't help that I've spent the last three years in law school. And I am one of those strange people who LOVED law school. I love the academic side of the law. But that doesn't make for exciting conversation. How many people want to hear about how worked up I get over Fourth Amendment jurisprudence? Or how I want to write an article highlighting the double standard the courts employ on the issue of reasonableness.

It's not like my other interests are any better. Quantum theory and Niels Bohr gets me excited, but that would probably just freak the average person out. And I'm pretty sure I HAVE freaked people out with my long-winded stories about Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome and male psuedohermaphrodism.

My more mainstream interests don't help much either. I hate America's sweetheart, Carrie Underwood, and my love of all things High School Musical and Twilight is more than a little creepy at my age.

So can you really blame me for wishing I had the election to talk about again? I didn't think so.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dude People, Obama's Not A Socialist

My happiness over the election results is just now starting to set in (now that I'm sober, I suspect). I can't help but marvel how this feels. I've been stuck with a bafoon for President all of my adult life until now.

What amuses me are the Facebook reactions from Republicans I know. The comments range from " disappointed in people" to "moving to a non-socialist country where people actually have to work for a living."

Really people? You're just now unsatisfied with the country's presidential choice? Some things will never cease to amaze me. George W. Bush was a disaster, and John McCain intentionally aligned himself with him, to the detriment of the country, in order to win an election. But that is neither here nor there anymore! Whoo hoo!

Another point of bewilderment comes from the fact that that last Facebook comment came from my former religion teacher. Last I checked, Jesus wasn't too big on wealth. Eye of a needle and all that. For the life of me I will never understand why lifelong Christians who proclaim to follow the teachings of Christ are so vehemently opposed to helping out their neighbors in tough times. Maybe someone should remind my former teacher that what we do to the least of men we do to Christ. (Also, since when has the distribution of wealth in this country gone to those who work hardest?)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Hmm...

"[B]oth the weapons pat-down and the investigatory stop were lawful. Therefore Torres did not have the right to resist arrest. Because he did resist, Defendants had probable cause to arrest him."

Does that sound a little iffy to anyone else? A tad circular, perhaps?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Someone Needs To Tell Kennedy That Being A Lawyer Isn't THAT Cool

"The Act's obligations are less harsh than the sanctions of occupational disbarment, which we have held to be nonpunitive." Smith v. Doe, 538 U.S. 84, 100 (2002).

That's Justice Anthony Kennedy stating that, in his opinion, being disbared is worse than being labeled a registered sex offender for the rest of your life.

Justice David Souter responded with a "are you fucking kidding me?"

"I seriously doubt that the Act's requirements are 'less harsh than the sanctions of occupational disbarment' . . . . " Id. at 109 (Souter, J., concurring).

Ya think?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Only in California

California is special. In what other state could a KeyCite yield both a case where an attorney sought an injunction on further investigation into her client because it caused her stress and disrupted her business (Roberts v. L.A. City Fire Dept., No. B141143, 2002 WL 265888 (Cal. Ct. App. Feb. 26, 2002)) and a case where a man who wanted to be cryogenically frozen sought to preemptively enjoin manslaughter charges against the people who were to perform the procedure (Donaldson v. Lungren, 4 Cal. Rptr. 2d. 59 (Ct. App. 1992))?

I challenge you to name another such state.

Wait, there's more!
"[T]he trial court held an evidentiary hearing on the motion for issuance of a preliminary injunction and received a stipulation from all the parties that the court might view a performance of a [nude] female dancer on one of the plaintiffs' places of business before ruling on the matter." Pitchess v. Superior Court, 83 Cal. Rptr. 35, 37 (Ct. App. 1969).

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Strange Happenings

It always feels weird when I read an opinion by Clarence Thomas and agree. Of course maybe the weird feeling comes just fromreading something written by Thomas, since that's a pretty strange occurrance in itself.

But seriously, it's kind of like that time I noted in my Criminal Procedure textbook next to a Scalia opinion--"Nino, you're so hot right now."

Otherworldly, indeed.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Stupid Hollywood

So, on Columbus Day I went to see "The Duchess" with one of my friends. The movie purports to be the story of Georgiana (Spencer) Cavendish, the Fifth Duchess of Devonshire. The movie was okay, and since I love British history I later bought a biography of Georgiana's sister Harriet.

I really like the book ("Privilege & Scandal" by Janet Gleeson if you're interested). Harrier had a pretty interesting life, too, and by all accounts she and her sister were close. BUT THERE IS NO MENTION OF HARRIET IN THE MOVIE! I don't get that. And the movie led viewers astray on all sorts of other things. These omissions and alterations didn't add anything the story, so why not just tell the truth? Fact is usually more interesting than fiction anyway.

By the way, it is amazing how much historians have learned from reading letters people wrote to each other, and how candid they were in them. Telephones and email have ruined that, sadly

The Weakness In Me

I'm writing this from my new iPhone! How cool is that?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Question

Could someone please explain to me why, with one of the most historic elections looming near, with the global financial crisis, with all the other pressing things going on in our world, why has the Today Show covered the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce like a trashy British tabloid?

For at least three days they have done a segment in their seven o'clock hour about this. WHO THE HELL CARES IF A (FORMALLY?) SLUTTY, CRAZY KABALLAH LADY FROM DETROIT WHO THINKS SHE IS ENGLISH ARISTOCRACY IS GETTING A DIVORCE FROM HUBBY NUMBER TWO?

WHY IS THIS NEWS?!@?!?!?1?13;'JLFLKHASFGDLJFASLJK;FDSALKJASFDLK

Sorry, the frustration got the best of me.

Daniel Craig has a new James Bond movie coming out in less than a month!!!! If they're going to cover an entertainment story, cover that. Give us something to smile/lust about in this economy. Hearing about how Guy Ritchie just got his ticket to the big time bucks doesn't make me feel too hot.

Side note—WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MADONNA THAT SHE DIDN'T MAKE HIM SIGN A PRE-NUP? GOOD GOD, PEOPLE! EVERYONE NEEDS A PRE-NUP! Seriously, pre-nups are my new skin cancer, for those of you that know me well.

Party Time

In honor of my sissy's birthday, I've decided to have an election party. (Haha, it's not for her birthday, it's for the election. But, crap, I have to get her a present...)

All who are blue of heart and in the area are invited. If you are of a red state of mind you can come, too, but some fights might bust out by the end of the night, because someone is bound to be disappointed. That is, unless we have a repeat of 2000!!! How awesome would that be? By all appearances, Florida is fucking it up again, so you never know!

(Just kidding. If this isn't over by the 4th I will kill myself.)

TV Land

I was watching CSI: Miami last night—don't judge me—and I got pretty pissed at the writers' blatant disregard for the Fourth Amendment. I mean, COME ON. These people are supposed to be intelligent law enforcement professionals and they just bust through a locked bedroom door with the consent of the roommate? WTF?

Of course, I learned long ago the in Miami, little things like the Fifth and Sixth Amendment don't exist. Seriously, when was the last time one of the suspects invoked their rights to silence or counsel?

Claim to Fame

The former governor of my state touched me today. Yeah, that's right. I'm that cool.

How sad is it that that is the only think I can think of to blog about?



(We rode on the elevator together, in case you were wondering, and the touching was incidental.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Public Apology

To anyone who ever made fun of me for supporting country music (here's looking at you, Jen) I now offer a sincere public apology.

Everyone has their breaking point. This was mine. Oh my holy God.

Stupid Radio People

I got soooo mad listening to the radio on the way to work this morning. The stupid redneck DJs were actually speculating about whether or not Barack Obama was born in the United States. The woman DJ said something like "well if you have to be born in the U.S. to be president then he was born in the U.S." But then the stupid mad said something like "but that doesn't mean you can't run for the presidency if you weren't born in the U.S." Then he said, "wouldn't that be cool if it turned out that we were the first to think of this and we stumbled onto something here?"

Seriously? Really?

How about before you go on the air and display your ignorance, you do some fact-checking. Then you'd discover that Obama is not the presidential candidate who was born outside of the 50 states. Obama was born in Hawaii. McCain was born in the Canal Zone in Panama.

Maybe I am being too sensitive, but I thought there was a racial undertone to the whole thing. I know that Obama had a Kenyan father and lived in Indonesia for a while, but why did they assume that he was trying to pull a fast one on us? They didn't question the same about McCain,* which is interesting considering that he actually wasn't born in the physical states.




*Actually, I tuned into the station in the middle of the topic, so I suppose there is a chance that the whole thing started because they were talking about how McCain was born in Panama, but I doubt it from the tone of the conversation.

Geez Louise!

My goodness, logging into Blogger was like trying to get into Fort Knox! Apparently my Google account had been deactivated since I hadn't logged into the email for a while, which is kind of weird considering I never check that email. I only have it so I can be super anonymous on my blog! Oh well. I'm back, bitches!

Sorry for the prolonged absence. I finally put on my big girl pants and moved out of my parents house. Turns out you have to pay for the Internet! What the?! Just kidding, I knew that, but I'm also super cheap. So I have no Internet access at my current residence, and I'm determined not to succumb because if I break down and get Internet at home then my mail rationale for eventually getting an iPhone will disappear, if you get my drift.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Warning! Adult Content Ahead

Something happened yesterday that I never thought would happen to me. No, for those of you wondering, I did not kiss a boy. (Hahaha, I'm so... pathetic.)

No, what shockingly happened is this: I read an '80s romance novel that was too '80s for me. I know! How could that be? I love the cheesy, not-quite-subtle sexism of those books! Not to mention the styles! (P.S., I must confess that my overwhelming love for these books is based almost exclusively on Sandra Brown's writings from the era.)

Tasteful graphics advertising concerts, ballets, and art shows had been sealed in this brass frames and mounted on the walls.—Sandra Brown, Not Even For Love (1982).

Posters in brass frames? You know you've seen that at in some waiting room somewhere.

The sight of his near-naked body was awesome. His trunks were navy blue with, red piping around the legs. The fabric was stretched taut across his flat abdomen. There was no line marking the border of his deep tan, and Katherine's cheeks were suffused with color over her speculation on how such a thing were possible.—Sandra Brown, Love Beyond Reason (1981).

Awesome, ya'll. The sight of his bod was awesome. As were those Magnum P.I. swimming trunks, I'm sure.

But nothing beats the sex scenes, they are that disturbingly entertaining. I give you exhibit one:

But his hands had slipped under her sweater and were learning the lush curves of her breasts. "Reeves, please . . . no," she pleaded. "No . . . I can't. I don't . . ."
"I do, Jordan. I do. But not like this. Never before like this."
—Sandra Brown, Not Even For Love (1982).

That is a theme of these books. The women say no, and the men assure them that they don't mean it. And gosh darn it, they really don't mean it! (Now you see where the disturbing part of "disturbingly entertaining" comes in.)

"I want to. So do you."
"No," she denied, then gasped as his hands slid up her sides. "No, please, Grant, don't touch me there." But it was too late. His hands closed around her breasts. His lips were at her cheek, emitting hot, unsteady gusts of air. His chest was a bellows expanding and collapsing against her back.
Belying every protest she had made, she flung her head back against his chest and covered his hands with her own.
—Sandra Brown, A Kiss Remembered (1983).

That's right, honey. You keep on sending those mixed messages. You tell him no again and again only to instantly succumb to his second-base skills. That's the way to teach a man that "no means no."

"Shelley, I need you. I want you. And I know you want me just as much."
His other hand shot across the interior of the car and caught the back of her neck, hauling her against him. "No—" she managed to force out before he clamped his mouth over hers. The kiss was brutal, his passion adding to his frustration.
—Sandra Brown, A Kiss Remembered (1983).

Hmm... maybe it's the lawyer in me, but where I come from we call that assault and battery.

See, normally I eat this shit up like candy. You just can't write these kinds of masterpieces anymore, mainly because if anyone tried it would obviously be satire, and most of the entertainment value of these books comes from the fact that they were written in utmost seriousness. But maybe it's my reawakened feminism from this crazy election season or something, but I just didn't find the examples of this misogyny so entertaining in A Kiss Remembered. Of course, part of that might be because the hero was formerly the heroines high school teacher and while he was a teacher he frenched her. !!! Not okay!!! And I'm pretty sure that's creepy to me not just because my own eighth-grade teacher is a registered sex offender now. (No lie.)

"I've got one more exam to grade," she said tremulously.
"It can wait. I can't. I've already waited ten years."


Greaaaatttttt. Not only are you an asshole who decides when and where you want some ass, regardless of the woman's views on the topic, but you also just admitted to wanting to bang a sixteen year old ten years earlier. Nice.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Girls Who Sing

Right now for some reason I am really into the music of certain female singer-songwriters. I have always liked women singers best, probably because I can relate to their music better. There are a lot of amazing women singer-songwriters out there who don't get much media attention, so I thought I'd share some of my faves.

Kathleen Edwards
She's Canadian, which is cool to me now that I think this country is going down the crapper. But I bought Kathleen's debut album my junior year in college and I've been a fan ever since. Her new album, Asking For Flowers, is amazing. Love it!


A Fine Frenzy
I had the hardest time choosing a video to post! Her album One Cell in the Sea has a lot of lovely songs on it. She's the type of artist you would expect to hear played in an Anthropologie store—so that explains why I did hear one of her songs there this weekend! :)


Daisy May
My aunt and uncle in Michigan turned me on to this Michigan native. I love her folksy sound!


Kelly Willis
My love for Kelly knows no bounds. She is everything Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, and all those other ridiculous female mainstream country singers will never be.


Tift Merritt
I love Tift! Her album Tambourine was amazing! (It was also nominated for Best Country Album.) This video is of Stray Paper, my favorite of her songs, but there is a polished video of another great single, Good Hearted Man that you can watch at the link.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sarah Palin and Feminism

You know, the best thing about this whole Sarah Palin thing for me has been that it's really forced me to stop and think about how I feel on certain issues—mainly the role of women and how we view women.

Monday night a friend (of another generation—not that it necessarily matters) asked me how I felt about Palin and prefaced her question with, "You're not a feminist, are you?"

My answer was this: "It depends on how you define feminism." Maybe that was lame, but I wasn't entirely sure what to say. I don't know and have never studied feminist theory, so if that's your definition, no. But I have read and enjoyed The Feminine Mystique, and I do read and enjoy the Feministing blog as it challenges me to go beyond the surface. I also support equal rights for women, am pro-choice, and honestly, I think women are the stronger sex. So if that's your definition, yes.

What I was most taken aback by was the way that my friend automatically seemed to assume that I'm not a feminist; either that or she was hoping I'd say no. Why else wouldn't she have phrased the question as "Are you a feminist?"

I have the highest level of education among my friends, am outspokenly single, and am a registered Democrat. If we're going on stereotypes I'd think I'd be the most likely feminist of the bunch.

But "feminist" seems to be a dirty word to a lot of people. That's funny to me, because I think a large part of being a feminist is just questioning and dissecting what is put in front of us. And this Palin pick has given us a lot of stuff to dissect. There's the "VPILF" and "Beauty Queen" comments, the working-mother-of-a-special-needs-baby issue, the teen pregnancy issue, the claims of sexism from the right-wingers when the media attempts to do the vetting that McCain apparently didn't do, etc. Heck, throw in Palin's views on abortion and it's enough to keep a thinking woman busy for days! (Oh yeah, and that little first-woman-vice-president issue, too.)

Now I feel like this blog went slightly off-topic and got away from me, but the point is that Palin's nomination is good for feminism in the sense that it will get us talking about issues that a lot of us never really questioned before—gut reactions are often illuminating when you turn the spotlight on them.

P.S., check out the intriguing reader comments at Feministing.com on Palin's convention speech here. My favorite thus far has been this one:

It's funny that both Palin and Giuliani will insult and dismiss and laugh at the concept of community organizing, and then the Republicans turn around and call Obama the elitist.

If people who think that are feminists, then count me in. The insufferable criticism of Obama's time as a community organizer was sickening to me.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Question

Can someone please explain to me why, if you had ordered a used book from someone on Amazon.com, you'd wait two and a half months to alert the seller that the book didn't arrive? And after the seller suggests filing a claim to see if Amazon.com can offer her any protection (because two and a half months is a suspicious amount of time to wait for a book that was supposed to arrive within two weeks at the latest) why would you review her as "terrible"?

I'm sorry, lady, but you were going to get your money back regardless. Filing a claim only determines whether it will be the seller (me) or Amazon.com who refunds the money. The only difference to you is waiting a couple of days to see what the result of the guarantee policy is. You've already sat on your hands for two and a half months! What difference does five more days make? Did you really have to call me "terrible"?

To anyone that sells on Amazon.com: ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET DELIVERY CONFIRMATION! THESE PEOPLE WILL SCREW YOU OVER!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Silver Lining

So, it used to drive me nuts when people would ask me when I was getting married. (They have stopped asking now—I think they get the hint that the answer hasn't changed.) I always thought that my being single gave me superior rights to complain about rude questions regarding my life path.

And then tonight I sat by and listened as someone pointed out to my friends who have been married all of three weeks that they were in the perfect position to start a family.

I know, it was bad of me, but I couldn't help but chuckle. Seriously? Three weeks in and you think they should start a family? Guess I don't have it so bad, after all.

Friday, August 29, 2008

My Thoughts On McCain's VP Pick

When I first saw that McCain picked a woman to be his vice president, I do have to admit that my immediately reaction was to be pleased. Because now, no matter who wins, history will be made.

And then I learned a little more about Sarah Palin.

Regardless of her views on abortion, which are atrocious, what upsets me the most about this nomination is that she didn't have the insight to decline.

This whole thing reminds me strongly of the Harriet Miers Supreme Court debacle. You know, when a woman was put up for a major position and she happened to be completely unqualified? When people were so outraged by her complete lack of qualifications that her nomination was withdrawn?

Governor Palin has been governor of the fourth least-populated state for less than two years. Before that she was the mayor of a town in Alaska with a population under 10,000. And she has actually admitted that she doesn't really have an opinion on Iraq.

I don't doubt that she's intelligent and a strong woman, but what I am worried about is what would happen if McCain got elected and then died. Does Palin really have, not just the experience, but the interest to be Commander-in-Chief? She doesn't have an opinion on Iraq! That's inexcusable! And if that happens the result will be that a woman will be President for the first time and will end up looking completely incapable. That doesn't make women look good. All it does is reinforce negative stereotypes about how women are unfit to lead.

So why didn't she decline? I don't believe for a second that there are no better qualified women in the Republican Party. And by better qualified I mean have more than two years experience in major politics. Why didn't she realize that the Republicans are using her?

But she didn't decline, and now we have to watch men refer to a woman who is governor of a state as a "beauty queen" and "VPILF" (for those of you that don't know, that's "Vice President I'd Like to Fuck." Disgusting? Yes.) She deserves to be taken seriously regardless of her qualifications to be President, guys.

I don't know, I just feel like in the end this will not move women forward. And that depresses me.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

There Are No Words

Sometimes you hear a song on the radio and you are literally rendered speechless (and not in a good way). Bucky, you've done that to me with "I'll Walk."

Monday, August 25, 2008

Hehe.

This is funny. All you need to do is look at the title.

Friday, August 22, 2008

More Olympics Stuff

Is anyone watching Rhythmic Gymnastics? Oh my holy God. Dancing around with ribbons, rope, batons, and a hula hoop is an Olympic sport? I mean, I knew this existed, but I guess I haven't seen it for a while because I could help but be amused while watching it today. Who in the hell devotes their life to dancing around with a hula hoop? And that is what it is. Dancing. Hell, if this makes it into the Olympics why isn't cheerleading a sport? Or just plain old dance? Ballet? What are the standards, IOC?

Irony

Does anyone else find this ironic?


Maybe, just maybe, part of the reason they have to struggle to be taken seriously as athletes is that when a piece is done on the skill required for their sport, MSNBC posts a picture of competitors' asses. Forget their faces. Asses will do.

(As a side note, if that ass only gets a three-star rating, I'd hate to see what mine would receive...)

My Life In Book Form

I don't know why I am so untrendy. I never seem to jump on bandwagons until they've passed. For instance, I only started reading Harry Potter last month. I use terms like "douchebag" long after they've fizzled out in popularity (or so I've been told). Usually I don't care. But I am wondering why I didn't read Bridget Jones's Diary before now. I love the movie so very very much, but I've never read the book until now.

Maybe it was fate for me to wait, though, because it is becoming abundantly clear that I am Bridget Jones, and our thoughts are as one.

Example One
Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding: both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society.

I'm not quite in my thirties yet, but you can probably go down a decade in the conservative Christian denomination/community I grew up in. Lord knows I'm treated as a freak by them for being twenty-five and single.

Example Two
"Yes, why aren't you married yet, Bridget?" sneered Woney (babytalk for Fiona, married to Jeremy's friend Cosmo) with a thin veneer of concern whilst stroking her pregnant stomach.

Because I don't want to end up like you, you fat, boring, Sloaney milch cow, was what I should have said, or, Because if I had to cook Cosmo's dinner then get into the same bed as him just once, let alone every night, I'd tear off my own head and eat it, or, Because actually, Woney, underneath my clothes, my entire body is covered in scales.

Reminding myself that the thought of climbing into bed with most of the men my acquaintances have married induces severe nausea is the only thing I can do to dull the pain, sometimes.

Example Three
Then I got into a taxi and burst into tears.

Midnight. Har Har. Just called Sharon.
"You should have said 'I'm not married because I'm a
Singleton, you smug, prematurely aging, narrow-minded morons,' " Shazzer ranted. " 'And because there's more than one bloody way to live: one in four households are single, most of the royal family are single, the nation's young men have been proved by surveys to be completely unmarriageable, and as a result there's a whole generation of single girls like me with their own incomes and homes who have lots of fun and don't need to wash anyone else's socks. We'd be as happy as larks if people like you didn't conspire to make us feel stupid just because you're jealous.' "

Bridget goes home from dinner parties full of Smug Married Couples and cries from abject misery. I go home from weddings full of Smug Married Couples and cry from abject misery. We are as one, it seems. But I also have a bit of Shazzer in me, apparently, because I too tell myself again and again that everyone else is jealous of me because I haven't legally bound myself to a loser, and that's why they conspire to make me feel stupid.

Or maybe it's this:
Example Four
"How's your love life?"

Oh no. Why do they do this? Why? Maybe the Smug Marrieds only mix with other Smug Marrieds and don't know how to relate to individuals anymore.


And that, ladies and gentleman, is the correct answer. Believe it or not, some of us don't want to get married. We only feel sad about not being married when the Smug Marrieds shove our Singleton status down our throats.

Oh, and young men have been proved to be completely unmarriageable. I think all you need to do is watch Knocked Up to see that.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Note To Self

Note to self:

-Go to store and buy latest issue of Men's Journal
-Stare at photos
-Console myself that one benefit of being practically the last single woman alive (an exaggeration, somewhat) is that I can fantasize about photo subjects guilt-free
-Ignore subtle homoeroticism

Country Music, Patriotism, and Songs About War

Okay, I probably should have stopped with my last post but I just remembered that I have another Carrie Underwood rant to do. Well, this one is aimed more at the current state of country music, but since Carrie is their darling and sings the song at issue, she's getting a big part of the blame.

Her new song Just a Dream makes we want to barf. I heard it for the first time today and could hardly believe it. Really? A song about an 18 year-old who goes to the church with something borrowed something blue not for her wedding but for her soldier fiancee's funeral? Are you freakin' kidding me?

Now before everyone assumes that I'm a cold-hearted bitch, let me just say this: it's not because the song is asinine and ridiculously sappy (even though it is, like most of her music); it's not because I'm an America-hating liberal (I'm not). It's that the way the country music industry exploits the war and military matters for its own commercial gain makes me sick to my stomach. And that's what I see this to be, because as sappy as it is, it has probably happened to many young women in this country. That's a terrible tragedy, but Carrie Underwood's making a buck off of it. Maybe the conversation went something like this: "Young men dying needlessly and leaving their fiancees behind to mourn for what could have been? Fantastic! Let's turn it into a song for an American demographic who is overwhelmingly pro-war! They are likely the ones with a loved one in the armed services, so let's play on their greatest fear to sell records! That's a brilliant idea!" Unfortunately it works because the targeted audience is too dumb to realize they're being exploited for their needless sacrifice.

I'm sure Carrie's been on a USO tour and all that, but still... this song just makes me really uncomfortable, mostly because it's only the latest in a long line of really bad, really terrible "patriotic" country songs that sprouted up after 9/11. (Think Courtesy of the Red White and Blue. Natalie Maines, you were dead on.) Alan Jackson's Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning is the only one I've ever heard that doesn't sound exploitative. But that's just my opinion.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Wag of the Finger, Carrie Underwood

This article about an article in which Carrie Underwood tells people that she doesn't know where she stands with Tony Romo (because he allegedly still calls her) makes me mad. One, because I hate Carrie Underwood's music with a passion that will never die, and a teeny bit of hate has spilled over to her herself, too. Or maybe it's more than a teeny bit. But second, I really like Jessica Simpson. I know, I know, I must be the only person in the universe who will admit to it but I do! I always have! Yes, she's ditzy at times but that didn't give stupid, arrogant Nick Lachey the right to make fun of her so much! And arguably her music isn't the greatest BUT NEITHER IS SHE WINNING GRAMMYS FOR IT like stupid Carrie is.

But the article also annoys me because it is in extremely bad taste for Carrie to reveal this, even if we assume that it's true. Romo is dating Jessica. And if there is one thing the press loves to do it is to ridicule Jessica Simpson and bring her down. I don't get it, because she seems like a perfectly nice person who never hurt anyone, but the press is mean. They will probably love any excuse to publish covers saying "Tony Cheats on Jess with Carrie!" and whatnot. So why would Carrie say this in public? It seems arrogant to me to tell the world that someone else's boyfriend is calling you and that you don't know where you stand with him, as if to say, "Yeah, he's with you now, but I'm so hot and amazing that he really wants to be with me." It could be true, but like I said, keep it to yourself, Carrie. You may have the country music industry so blinded by your good looks that they ignore your retarded lyrics, but that doesn't mean you're beyond all censure. Saying that you "don't know where you stand" with another woman's boyfriend is a major party foul. (Oh, yeah, and did you get Hillary Duff to pose for you on that Allure shoot? Seriously, I'm still not convinced that's not the Duffster on the cover.)

I will say it again—that was in bad taste. Clearly Ms. Underwood's undeserved superstardom has gone to her head.

Dream Big

I have a feeling that I have the Olympics and Michael Phelps to thank/blame for the unusually high amount of people at the pool where I've been swimming all summer. Usually there are five to six of us in the six lane pool. Today at one point there was eight, maybe nine. Considering that I was one of the first four people in the pool, I don't know why the fat old lady next to me kept shooting me dirty looks.

Idiot

I like how the idiot author of this article (which I am assuming is a man) thinks it's funny to insinuate that female swimming fans will not like Michael Phelps anymore because he says he has a hard time keeping weight on.

There's no surer way to turn new female fans into former female fans than by complaining about how hard it is to keep on weight.

Oh wait, nevermind, I don't like it.

Are you retarded, Chris Chase? Do you really think that women are so stupid that we would complain about it being unfair that a man who trains thirty (30) hours a week can't keep some extra bulk on his body? WTF? I think there are a hell of a lot of people, women included, who would have a hard time keeping weight on if they were one of the hardest working athletes in the world. And guess what? Women are plenty intelligent enough to figure that out.

Stupid ass man.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Great Minds Think Alike

A million thank-yous to the Fug Girls for saying exactly what I've been thinking about Raising the Bar every single time I see a commercial for it during a Law & Order marathon.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

WTF

This news-story is so bizarre it hardly seems real. On a bus in Canada a man takes out a knife, stabs a passenger, cuts his head off, and starts eating his body! All while on the bus!

And the victim was a carney!

And he's being charged with second-degree murder? I don't know how things roll in Canada, but cutting off a head and eating it seems pretty willful and deliberate to me. And we all know that a mere moment is sufficient premeditation, right?

In Defense of Crocs

For the life of me, I will never, never understand the illogical and irrational hatred people have of Crocs. For the love of God, they are just shoes! What is the big deal? So what if they're ugly? Are they really more offensive-looking than fat girls in short shorts and belly tees? No! There are way uglier fashion choices being made everyday

But it's not just about the strange obsession Croc-haters have. It's also about their extreme rudeness and their belief that it is socially acceptable to be so rude, just because we're talking about Crocs. I would never dream of coming up to someone and telling them that I hate their shoes, unsolicited.

All you Croc-haters out there, does it make you feel special, make you feel like you're a better person to rant on and on about a pair of silly shoes? Do you think you're better than the rest of us that like bright colors and comfy soles on a summer day? NEWSFLASH--your fixation on hating the shoes makes you weirder than those of us who wear them anyway.

Also, don't you think that we know you hate them? Lord knows enough people have let me know to my face that they do. And that's why every time I put them on I smile a little to myself, knowing that somewhere, a douchebag who sees me is going to go nuts.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Do Babies Make You Uncoordinated?

You know, all this press coverage about Dara Torres and her success at the Olympic trials has been bugging me for a while. Why? Mostly because they keep saying things like, "She's a 41 year-old mother! A mother!"

What exactly does her role as a mother have to do with anything? I thought for a while that it could be people are surprised that she can put in so much training when she has kids, but couldn't the same be said for all the professional athletes out there that are fathers? But you never hear anyone say, "And he's a father!" like that makes a male athlete's accomplishments all the more amazing. Now Newsweek has a whole piece on Olympic athletes that are mothers.

I'm not going to pretend to be so dense that I don't know that pregnancy affects a woman's body, but come on, it's not really that big of a deal if everything goes right, is it? Especially when these women were world-class athletes before they had kids. I mean, it's not like they're competing in the Vaginal and Uterine Olympics, here.

I'm just so sick of hearing women described as "such-and-such and a mother." I can't figure out if such descriptions are unfairly patronizing or unfairly praising. All I know is that it annoys me. But maybe that's just because I don't think anyone should be defined by their relationship to another person. Women are more than just mothers. And mothers are more than just parents.

Is A Banner Really Necessary?

OH MY GOD, EVERYONE! WE CAN SEE THE FIRST PICTURES OF THE JOLIE-PITT TWINS IN A LITTLE OVER FORTY-EIGHT HOURS!!!!!!!! THIS IS A WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!! I CAN HARDLY WAIT! THE EXCITEMENT IS KILLING ME! I AM GOING TO CAMP OUT WITH MY LAPTOP AND REFRESH EVERY TWO SECONDS UNTIL THE PHOTOS ARE UP!









(P.S., I'm being sarcastic)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A Trend?

Dude, what's up with the police thinking they don't have to follow the same rules and laws as the rest of us? Like not parking in a no-parking zone to go get take-out and paying for Starbucks?

Monday, July 28, 2008

This Is It.

I take the first portion of the bar exam today. There is a queasy feeling in my stomach that I have not felt before a test since my junior year and college. There was always one class that could put me in a mild panic before an exam, mostly because I knew that it was always entirely possible that I would not know how to do anything on the test.

Ah, the memories of Organic Chemistry.

I passed that class with two As and a B+. Hopefully that bodes well for the bar exam...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mmm, Ethics

I wonder if it says something about me that the one bar subject I loathe the most, the one bar subject that I most avoid studying, the one subject I skipped the lecture for is...

...Professional Responsibility, i.e., legal ethics.

My dislike for studying this subject is no doubt due to the fact that I already took a standardized test that was completely and exclusively about the Model Rules for Professional Responsibility and I'm not too excited about being tested again. (Haven't I already proved to you people that I know the rules? That I'm ethical? Damn you!)

But there's another reason I dislike the subject—the language of the rules. Seriously, whoever wrote them was intentionally being obtuse, I swear. I always find myself rewriting the rules so that I can actually understand them. For instance, I give you Rule 1.18, the duties a lawyer owes to prospective clients:

(c) A lawyer subject to paragraph (b) shall not represent a client with interests materially adverse to those of a prospective client in the same or a substantially related matter if the lawyer received information from the prospective client that could be significantly harmful to that person in the matter, except as provided in paragraph (d). If a lawyer is disqualified from representation under this paragraph, no lawyer in a firm with which that lawyer is associated may knowingly undertake or continue representation in such a matter, except as provided in paragraph (d).

d) When the lawyer has received disqualifying information as defined in paragraph (c), representation is permissible if:
(1) both the affected client and the prospective client have given informed consent, confirmed in writing, or:
(2) the lawyer who received the information took reasonable measures to avoid exposure to more disqualifying information than was reasonably necessary to determine whether to represent the prospective client; and
(i) the disqualified lawyer is timely screened from any participation in the matter and is apportioned no part of the fee therefrom; and
(ii) written notice is promptly given to the prospective client.


Ugh. Gross. I chose to rewrite it as such:

If a prospective client told you something juicy, you can’t later represent someone in the same or substantially related matter if the juicy info would hurt the prospective client. Your firm associates can represent the new client if you’re screened.

See how much better that is? And how much shorter? I did it with Rule 1.10, too.

Real rule:
(a) While lawyers are associated in a firm, none of them shall knowingly represent a client when any one of them practicing alone would be prohibited from doing so by Rules 1.7 or 1.9, unless the prohibition is based on a personal interest of the prohibited lawyer and does not present a significant risk of materially limiting the representation of the client by the remaining lawyers in the firm.

(b) When a lawyer has terminated an association with a firm, the firm is not prohibited from thereafter representing a person with interests materially adverse to those of a client represented by the formerly associated lawyer and not currently represented by the firm, unless:
(1) the matter is the same or substantially related to that in which the formerly associated lawyer represented the client; and
(2) any lawyer remaining in the firm has information protected by Rules 1.6 and 1.9(c) that is material to the matter.


My rewrite:
If you can’t represent someone under Rules 1.7 or 1.9, then no on in your firm can represent them either, unless the conflict was personal and there’s no significant risk of limited representation.

If you leave a firm and take your client with you, your old firm can represent a new client with materially adverse interests, unless the clients are involved in the same or substantially related matter and there are lawyers still at the firm who have protected information.


They really should pay me for this. Better yet, this should count towards my pro bono hours. (See Rule 6.1.)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Anticipation

I don't know if I've ever looked forward to something as much as I'm looking forward the two and a half weeks after the bar exam and before I start work. In my mind they are going to be so jam-packed with fun it's insane. I have these grand fantasies of how wonderful all the things I want to do will turn out.

Something tells me it will all end up to be disappointing (all except Jen's wedding of course).

Finito

I. Can't. Study. Anymore.

(But of course I will. It's just so darned hard...)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Distractions

I found something in my room today. Hidden under the bed. Something that belongs to my sister that I didn't know she had.



Damn it. I thought she only had books one through four and I was going to stop after book five (which I borrowed from a friend) because I really should be studying for the bar instead of reading novels.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Ewwwwww—The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to agree with the critics. This is creepy. And very disturbing to me on a deeper level.

I know the whole father-daughter purity thing is probably coming from a good place, but haven't we moved beyond the point in history where daughters are viewed, not as individuals, but property of their fathers until they get married and become the property of their husbands?

When Kylie was 13, her parents took her on a hike in Lake Tahoe, Calif. "We discussed what it means to be a teenager in today's world," she says. They gave her a charm for her bracelet--a lock in the shape of a heart. Her father has the key. "On my wedding day, he'll give it to my husband," she explains. "It's a symbol of my father giving up the covering of my heart, protecting me, since it means my husband is now the protector. He becomes like the shield to my heart, to love me as I'm supposed to be loved."

"My husband is now the protector?" Gross. Gag me. You're not a rag doll, Kylie, protect your own heart for godssake.

How about instead of treating daughters like chattel that have to be guarded because they can't be trusted to think for themselves, you teach them how to do it themselves? This entire concept is premised on the idea that girls have to be protected.

And where are the boys? Are we just going to shame these girls into thinking that any sexual experience outside of marriage is dirty and wrong, but give the boys a free pass? It reminds me of the old Dolly Parton song Just Because I'm A Woman:

Yes, I've made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman
.

Dolly was trying to make the point that it's ridiculous and unfair to paint sexually active girls as dirty whores but to say nothing about the boys they're getting busy with. I think there's an element of that in this purity concept thing, too. It takes two to tango, people. And it's offensive to assume that women are the servient gender in terms of will and desire. Newsflash, gentlemen—sometimes girls genuinely want to have sex. And that doesn't make them bad.

Call me a radical feminist, but this article is hella disturbing to me. (And all these people agree.)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Oh The Pain

My best friend told me the other day that she feels about Rihanna the way I feel about Carrie Underwood. It hurt. It really hurt.

(I have a girl crush on Rihanna. And before you start saying "Girl crush? What are you, a lesbian?" you should be advised that it is a well-documented phenomena and there's nothing weird about it. Jerks.)

(Who doesn't like Rihanna, anyway?!?!?!?)

Ah, Television

I did my bar exam studying in front of the television today, and before you all start saying "Whoa, Litigious Mind, that doesn't sound like a good idea," I suggest you hold your tongues. Why? Because it was Law and Order I watched and it just so happens that I got a lot of great studying in.

First, I reviewed some Criminal Law by deciding whether all members of a suburban militia group were guilty of conspiracy when three members held up an armored car. And I got to hear Jack McCoy talk about an "overt act." Awesome. In that same episode I also got to consider whether a jury can infer guilty from silence when a defendant takes the stand, is asked if he committed a crime, and invokes the Fifth Amendment. I'm pretty sure the answer is hells yes!

Next, I reviewed common law murder by deciding whether doctors who let a sales rep operate a laser electrolyte machine (I don't know what it was, I went to law school, not med school, damn it) on a patient during surgery were guilty of murder when the lady died. (Depraved indifference! Conscious disregard!) I leaned towards no, and so did the TV judge. But helllloooo criminally negligent homicide! And then one of the doctors killed himself and the DA got his attorney to testify about a quid pro quo relationship between the other doctor and the sales rep. There was lots of evidence stuff there! Waiver of attorney-client privilege and Confrontation Clause were raised by the TV writers, but I got hung up on hearsay. Where's the hearsay exception there? Statement against interest? Statement by a co-conspirator? Who knows!

Finally, there was the Criminal Intent episode where a lawyer supposedly wrote a will for a client that was very beneficial to the lawyer. Wait a second! They can't do that! Professional Responsibility and undue influence and all that. But then it was revealed that all he did was suggest a trust where he was a trustee that got 10% annual paycheck for services as a trustee. The character implied that was "perfectly legal." I'm still nulling it over.

So you see, there is plenty of bar exam review that can occur while watching TV. Thank God for Law and Order marathons!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Small World

I met a nice lady at the pool today while I was swimming. I originally took the lane second from the wall and she took the one third from the wall. I had to move towards her a bit because apparently there were two people on the other side of the pool who were going to use the lanes next to the wall. No biggie, I could share. But then a THIRD person decided to join them (a friend, I think) so I had to be even more careful not to run head into them. So I asked the lady next to me if I was crowding her too much. Then she started talking about the swimsuits the Olympic athletes wear and we started talking Olympics and such and such. Eventually she said were she works and I asked her if she knew a close family friend who works there and she did! Maybe we all really are separated by only six degrees...

(This is a pretty good gist of how I look when I swim—the women that is.)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Brilliant

Sometimes I make poor choices. Something tells me starting the Harry Potter series (seven books!) two weeks before my bar exam was one of those poor choices.

Oops.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Phew

Well, we took our simulated MBE today and this made me feel a lot better. My raw score wasn't too bad, and I finished about thirty minutes early on both sections. That's a relief considering MY ESSAY KNOWLEDGE IS TERRIBLE. For the first time in my legal life I'm doing better at multiple choice than essays!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Photo Montage: The Stressful Life of a Spoiled Labradoodle








When things get this bad, there's only one place to turn...



Saturday, June 28, 2008

Thou Shall Not Covet

I want one of these soooo bad! I am taking donations! Hehe.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Revelations

It probably says a great deal about my views on marriage given that I get really angry at the entire concept of community property and the fact that even in non-community property states, you can't disinherit your spouse.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Procrastinating

I just spent two hours of my life that I will never get back watching a Lifetime Movie Network movie about hazing at college sororities, starring Hilary Swank, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Sarah Chalke, and Jenna von Oy.

Clearly I will do anything to avoid studying for the bar exam.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Another Carrie Complaint

Ms. Underwood's music continues its stunning lack of originality with her latest single Last Name. I believe Mr. Alan Jackson covered that topic in I Don't Even Know Your Name, what, fourteen years ago?

It is my fondest wish that someday the country music business and country fans will pull their heads out of their asses and realize that this girl is not all that and a bag of chips, but rather just one more singer of the completely unoriginal, cliched, and uninteresting music that's coming out of Nashville lately.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Suggestions

If anyone feels the compelling need to buy me a belated graduation gift, I have a few humble suggestions...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Hehe

This lady is funny. And judging by the comments I am not the only one who appreciates a good George IV joke every once in a while.

Torts Question

Let's say, hypothetically, that you were going on a bike ride one morning. Let's say that your labradoodle was in the front yard with your dad as you peddled away and had to be held by the collar to be stopped from running after you. Let's say that said labradoodle was released once you were significantly down the road and out of sight, yet still took off running after you. Let's say you were nearly to an intersection when your labradoodle caught up to you quite unexpectedly. Let's say you got off your bike, used your bike lock for a leash, and walked the labradoodle back towards the house while pushing your bike. Let's say you met your dad halfway back. Let's say your dad used a strip of leash to slap against the labradoodle to discipline him from doing something so dangerous again. Let's say that in his zeal for discipline he also managed to lash you across the leg, quite painfully, leaving a red welt.

Is that battery?

But of course, this is all purely hypothetical.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Oh Dear

I was walking through Borders today when I heard a young female voice behind me say "This store is boring. Ooh, at least they have CDs."

I'm not sure what I found the most remarkable. The fact that someone doesn't share my bibliophilia, or the fact that this young lady somehow seemed surprised about what she found in a bookstore. Last time I checked, all bookstores pretty much have the same inventory...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Good Day

The decision in Boumediene v. Bush is in and it's fabulous!

Thanks, Tony!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

On A Serious Note

I don't often post serious personal stuff on my blog, and I usually keep things very anonymous, but today I feel compelled to take a break from those traditions.

I got news today that a freshman biology student from my undergraduate alma mater went missing after she failed to surface during a SCUBA dive at the school's marine station in Anacortes, Washington. I spent two summers at that marine station and those were two of the best summers of my life. Rosario Beach is a fantastic place set in one of the most beautiful areas in the country. Western Washington will always be one of my favorite places on earth because of the memories I have from those two summers at Rosario.

I am so distraught over this situation. I am not sure but I'm fairly certain that the missing student is the younger sister of the girl who was my General Biology lab partner when I was at Rosario. If she is, she is also the granddaughter of the man who pushed the school to purchase the property the station sits on, the granddaughter of the man whom the classroom laboratory building is named for.

I am also distraught over the knowledge that this wonderful place will be haunted with this tragedy for a long time to come, especially for the Booth family, a family who I'm certain always viewed Rosario as a wonderful family legacy. To think that now those memories will be replaced with the loss of their daughter, sister, and granddaughter breaks my heart. Seeing this picture on the front of the Anacortes news website, this familiar and well-loved sight from the balcony of the cafeteria, with the Navy search and rescue helicopter flying overhead brought me to tears.



That's not what Rosario is about. This is a terrible tragedy.

Monday, May 19, 2008

That's The Best Name They Could Come Up With?

The fact that Barnes and Noble online has a whole section devoted to two things I very much enjoy—romance novels and Native American history/stuff—should delight me to no end. But I find that I can't really get that excited over the name they chose for this particular subgenre:

Historical Romance - Buckskin Lovers

That's copied text, folks, a direct ctrl+C. Buckskin Lovers? Really? Good God.

Good News!

If I get straight A's this semester I could move up to summa cum laude!

Too bad the chances of that happening are about as likely as me winning the Miss America pageant.

(I know that technically an apostrophe shouldn't be used in that first sentence, but without it it looks like I'm saying "as" instead of the plural of A.)

Friday, May 16, 2008

By The Way...

Cool things have been happening while I've been in my television-less, internet-less, bed-less, futon-less apartment all week! The California Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage bans violate equal protection, Edwards endorsed Obama, and polar bears are protected!

Impermissible Age Discrimination!

I would like to send a very heartfelt thank you to a certain state park ranger and all the elderly, motor-homing inhabitants of said state park for effectively killing the fun of my friends and my graduation camping trip.

A few hours after arriving, at about six in the afternoon, when we were quietly sitting around on camp chairs talking, our group received a visit from the park ranger telling us that he had received "quite a few complaints" about us and he pointed to a lone beer bottle and told us to "put that stuff away, get it out of sight." He then proceeded to tell us that the county sheriff deputies drive by "two times a night" and will card all of us.

Nevermind that there was not one person under the age of twenty-four in our entire group. Nevermind that alcohol is permitted in the park. Nevermind that no one was drunk. Nevermind that no one was being loud. And nevermind that not a single deputy ever showed up.

What the heck is old people's problem? We weren't doing anything that could be offensive in the least, and all the other people in the park sent the ranger after us a few hours after we got there. And for that pompous ranger to assume that we're all teenagers who are sneaking away to drink, it was very insulting. I guess I can only offer a warning that if you're not at least sixty years old, you're not welcome in a certain public park in our state.

Assholes.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The End?

I graduated from law school on Saturday, so I can now longer call myself a law student, which is kind of sad actually. And now that I have a job that carries ethical obligations with it, I will not be blogging about that. So I suppose this is kind of the end of my legal blogging (other than the fun that will ensue with bar exam studying, I'm sure). On that note, I've decided to offer a tad bit of law school advice to the Internet world.

Pearl of Wisdom Number One
Work really hard your first year of law school. It's easier to maintain a good GPA for two more years than to try to salvage a bad one. Also, if you take it seriously from the get-go and commit yourself to it, the subsequent years become much easier. Seriously, I barely worked at all during my third year yet I think I learned the most because I knew what worked for me.

Pearl of Wisdom Number Two
Avoid the toxic people. Law school is full of them, and I think it can be pretty easy to get sucked into their pessimistic, petty group if you're not careful. And then when you are friends with lots of pleasant normal people you can look at your toxic classmates with something akin to pity because it's clear that they will spend their entire lives thinking that the world revolves around them when really no one cares to be around such negativity.

Pearl of Wisdom Number Three
The best thing you can do for your grades in law school is be a good writer when it comes to final exams. A student who is a good writer can pull out a full letter grade (if not more) ahead of another student who has worked ten times as hard during the semester.

That's all I've got for now.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Finals Week(s) Recap

Good Idea:
Making an outline of all the Workplace Law prima facia cases

Bad Idea:
Going to bar night before Workplace Law final and consuming one New York Seltzer, one Nervous Breakdown, and one Malibu Sunset.

Good Idea:
Spending twenty minutes proofreading Creditor's Rights final before submitting it because you finished so early you were afraid to be one of the first to leave.

Bad Idea:
Hearing other classmates say that there was no way one could have time to discuss every issue presented by the Creditor's Rights final.

Good Idea:
Spending two whole days outlining and organizing notes for the Indian Law take home final.

Bad Idea:
Buying two new romance novels two days before the Remedies final and spending all day reading one of them.

Good Idea:
Watching Hunter reruns every night with dreamy Fred Dryer circa 1987.


Bad Idea:
Using Google to see how that bastard Time has aged dreamy Fred Dryer to 2008 standards.