Thursday, January 31, 2008

I Hate Snow

For those of you that saw this post and thought, "Wow, Litigious Mind, what a wimp you are. Didn't you, like, enter this world during the harsh Upper-Peninsula-of-Michigan winter? Can't you handle some snow?"

In a word, no. I can't.


When your car door scrapes the snow, maybe you shouldn't try to drive out of your driveway because you probably won't get anywhere and might in fact have to have your neighbor help push your car back into the parking spot. I learned that the hard way.


When your school is not only cancelled because of the snow but you are told you can't even come onto campus because they need to plow the parking lots, then you know there's a lot of snow.

So, to reiterate, ENOUGH ALREADY, SNOW! ENOUGH!

Monday, January 28, 2008

I Am Lazy Therefore You Get Another IM Conversation

Litigious Mind says:
when we finish this brief on friday we should go celebrate by watching 'there will be blood'

Moot Court Teammate says:
no kidding...that's not a bad idea

Litigious Mind says:
and.... then by getting drunk.  haha

Moot Court Teammate says:
i was just going to say that

Litigious Mind says:
haha

Litigious Mind says:
let's get drunk and do karaoke at the seedy bar on friday night.  after the movie

Moot Court Teammate says:
umm i don't sing though

Litigious Mind says:
a little D.D.L. (Daniel Day-Lewis), a little karaoke... my life will be complete

Moot Court Teammate says:
i'm vocally challenged

Litigious Mind says:
sing in romanian, no one will know

Moot Court Teammate says:
it's not the words part that trips me up...it's the tune

Moot Court Teammate says:
i can't carry one

Litigious Mind says:
we'll do talking songs like "the devil went down to georgia" and "boy named sue"

Moot Court Teammate says:
no johnny cash thank you

Litigious Mind says:
or, you can get drunk and make out with random cowboys and i'll sing

Moot Court Teammate says:
eww i have higher standards than cowboys

Litigious Mind says:
well, its the seedy bar

Litigious Mind says:
you take what you can get

Moot Court Teammate says:
point well taken...

Old Habits Die Hard

Those of you that know my best friend since fourth grade and know how our friendship works will be as amused by this conversation as I was.

BFF says:
what are you in new york for? the moot court thingy?

BFF says:
or fun?

Litigious Mind says:
yeah, moot court

Litigious Mind says:
like i could afford to go to nyc on my own

BFF says:
ha, yeah. 

BFF says:
so do you have to compete against other schools or something?

Litigious Mind says:
yeah, we compete

BFF says:
a glorified version of our trial in high school? do you need some pointers from the winner?

(Editor's Note: Our junior year in high school our U.S. History class did a mock prosecution of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. I was assigned as second-chair for the prosecution—nevermind that I did about 90% of the work all by myself—and BFF was defense counsel. Sadly, I did not secure a guilty verdict...)

Litigious Mind says:
um, no.  bitch

Litigious Mind says:
do i really have to explain to you a little concept called BURDEN OF PROOF?!!?

BFF says:
hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Litigious Mind says:
that's okay, though, i'll just sit at home and enjoy my FEMALE ATHLETE OF THE YEAR award

(Editor's Note: Said award was awarded our eighth grade year, but we have not forgotten.)

Litigious Mind says:
yeah, that's right.  OF THE YEAR

BFF says:
yes, i knew that was next!

Litigious Mind says:
[other friend from high school who won high school athlete of the year award] and i could get together and talk about how awesome it is to get recognized for athletic achievement

Litigious Mind says:
you could com— oh, wait, i guess you wouldn't know about that, would you?

BFF says:
oh wait, I think I have something from the LOCAL NEWSPAPER recognizing me as FEMALE ATHLETE OF THE YEAR

BFF says:
do you guys?

BFF says:
hahaha

Litigious Mind says:
well, at least you won the "royal daughter" award our senior year.  oh wait, that was me as well!  hahahahahahahaha

BFF says:
haha - yeah, you were a lot nicer than me

BFF says:
and you liked to sleep with all the principals

Litigious Mind says:
no, just the sons of faculty  members

(Editor's Note: I didn't really... I just dated the sons.)

D.D.L.

Oh D.D.L, that scene was moving, was it not? I loved him, too.

(And I love you! I will totally see There Will Be Blood because you're amazing!)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

White Out

Alright, you know what, snow?

Enough already. Enough.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Brief Update

Good news! I now have two sentences written!!!

Hmm

Number of days until my moot court brief is due:
Ten

Number of words I have written for said brief to date:
Zero.


Oopsies.


In my defense I have a nine page outline... so back off Dad.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

Usually when I hear about a celebrity who has passed away it doesn't really affect me much. But I am genuinely saddened and dismayed to hear about Heath Ledger's death today. I have loved Heath since I first saw him in 10 Things I Hate About You. When he did a magazine cover spread for his movie A Knight's Tale I cut out all the pictures and put then in my binder and carried it around my high school. I went to see The Patriot just because he was in it and almost walked out when his character was prematurely killed. His amazing performance in Brokeback Mountain is part of the reason why a movie about gay cowboys in 1960's Wyoming made me cry and became one of my favorite movies. Just this past week I watched Capote for the first time (the movie that Phillip Seymour Hoffman won Best Actor for the same year Heath was nominated for Brokeback) and I commented to my friend that I still thought Heath's performance was better. And I had been (admittedly still am) looking forward to his role as The Joker in the new Batman movie The Dark Knight, which a lot of people had been commenting on.

He was one of those rare actors that made a great transition from silly teen movies to excellent filmmaking. I think he was a great talent, and I'm sad for his family, especially his little girl who now has to grow up without her father.

R.I.P, Heath Ledger. Your fans will miss you.

Law School IMing

Officious Intermeddler says:
you in remedies right now?

Litigious Mind says:
bet your ass i am

Officious Intermeddler says:
is professor v preaching with no one listening like how conflicts was everyday?

Litigious Mind says:
heck no! we're talking about strip searches!

Officious Intermeddler says:
ha

Officious Intermeddler says:
what is the remedy for a strip search?

Litigious Mind says:
that is the question

Litigious Mind says:
turns out it depends on whether or not you are penetrated, i.e., cavity search

Litigious Mind says:
or asked to spread your cheeks.  i ain't lying, this is in the case

Litigious Mind says:
at least in the 7th circuit

Officious Intermeddler says:
interesting

Officious Intermeddler says:
isn't the remedy always $

Officious Intermeddler says:
what else could it be?

Litigious Mind says:
well, how much $$

Officious Intermeddler says:
oh, right

Officious Intermeddler says:
sounds simple enough, the more intrusive the search the more money you should be awarded

Litigious Mind says:
i just heard professor v say "orgy"

Litigious Mind says:
my life is complete

Officious Intermeddler says:
hahahahaha

Officious Intermeddler says:
how do you go from strip searches to orgy?

Officious Intermeddler says:
I guess once your naked......

Litigious Mind says:
we are talking about cases that the only harm is harm to your dignity

Litigious Mind says:
and there was one case where the plaintiff was a celebrity who was falsely accused of participating in an orgy

Officious Intermeddler says:
is an orgy harm to your dignity?

Litigious Mind says:
if you're a novelist who is accused of it you might lose sales

Officious Intermeddler says:
it never hurt my dignity....

Litigious Mind says:
is that what you've named your member? "dignity"?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Movie Review: 27 Dresses

I went to see 27 Dresses yesterday, and I liked it a lot! It's pretty cute and I recommend it. Here's a quote from the film that I found funny:

"I feel like I just found out my favorite love song is about a sandwich."

An Observation

This weekend I went shopping in (without giving too much away regarding my super-secret location) the nearest 200,000+ metropolitan area. I made two observations:

-I am not exceptionally well-traveled, but I've never been in a city that large that is so filled with blatantly unattractive people. (Am I shopping in the wrong part of town? I don't know. But really, "Woof.")

-I have also never been in a city that large where even the relatively attractive people have that horribly bad fashion sense.



Yes, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a shallow, shallow bitch.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Not So Fast

Apparently my euphoria over grades was slightly premature, considering that this landed in the inboxes of all law students today:

Due to a computer problem translating student names and ID numbers to our grade reporting system, incorrect grades may have been reported for some students.

Great. Just great.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Looking for a Silver Lining

As I am faced with the daunting task of writing a brief (in less than a month) on an area of law I know nothing about, I am trying to look on the bright side. The only one I can find is that at least I will learn something about Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization plans without actually having to take Bankruptcy.

I'm not sure that is reassuring.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

An Open Letter To My Fellow Females

Dear Women of the World,

There are some things that I really just don't care to know about. First off, if you're someone I barely know, I don't want to hear about your sex life. Does that make me a prude? Perhaps. But I really don't care whether or not some guy you met at a bar was "doing it for you" in bed. I suggest you either keep it private or only share with your close friends.

Second, I really don't want to hear about your menstrual cycle. That's another thing that is best kept private. Sure, occasionally we all make a comment to a girlfriend, but alerting me every time your cycle starts is, really, completely unnecessary. Not a pleasant mental image. I'm all for sisterhood and supporting our fellow females, but I do have boundaries. And those boundaries start with your bajingo (a.ka., va-jay-jay). I chose law school over medical school precisely because I didn't want to have to do pelvic and prostate exams!

Sincerely,
Litigious Mind

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Bummer

Well, my euphoria over grades has ended now that they're all in, thanks to that last grade which my lowest evah! Damn you, Family Law! Oh well, overall I still managed to raise my GPA, which is no small feat considering how much I slacked last semester.

Bluebooking

So we finally got our Moot Court Competition problem yesterday, which essentially consisted of a fake circuit court opinion. I am a little troubled by the fact that I have spotted numerous misuses of the Bluebook citation system in the problem. The competition rules say tha all citations must comply with Bluebook, but if the people running the program don't know Bluebook, how can I be assured that my correct citations will be recognized?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Grades

Pardon my French, but Holy Shitballs, I love the grading curve. Three of my five grades are in, and I have been pleasantly stunned with two of them. There is a lesson to be learned from this, wee law students and future law students:

Just because you felt like your exam answer was a blabbering, incoherent mess of words that had no logical structure, that doesn't mean that it was worse than everyone else's!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

I'm Back

Well, I'm back at law school and I've spent the majority of the past two days doing law review stuff. Awesome. School rocks. Here's an update on what I've done with my life lately:

-Christmas was very nice. Not to sound mercenary, but I got a lot of kick-ass presents. Everything from an iPod to a Princess of Imperial Russia Collector's Edition Barbie.

-"Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" is pretty damn funny.

-"Juno" is pretty funny, too.

-One might think that staying up until 3 a.m. playing RockStar doesn't sound like fun, but they would be wrong.

-I have discovered the magic of watching television shows online. I know, I know, I'm more than a little bit behind schedule on that, but cut me some slack, I don't have internet at home. I have finished watching "Life" on NBC, and it's a pretty good show. The premise is that the main character was a police officer who was framed for murder and spent twelve years in prison before his name was cleared. He got a multimillion dollar settlement and his job back, only now he's a detective. There are some other catches, too, but I'm trying to keep this short. Also, apparently the producers are fans of "Deadwood" because Calamity Jane is a regular castmember, and E.B. Farnum and Silas Adams have both guest-starred.