Monday, January 25, 2010

Just To Cement My Role As The Grumpy Old Spinster...

I am not amused by parents who send emails or post Facebook status updates "from" their infants, such as:

jdurbd sitbsw fe ujkle

I'd rather just see pictures of the baby, thanks.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Review

When I logged onto Netflix the other day, the service recommended Spartacus: Blood and Sand to me. It said I might like it since I rented The Watchman and Let The Right One In. The lead actor looked pretty freakin' hot so I though, "Why not," and gave it a chance.

Uh, now I'm starting to wonder about Netflix's method of recommending movies. Granted, they don't know that I couldn't even finish The Watchman I thought it so bad/boring. But considering that the category that shows up the most for me is "Romantic Movies Featuring A Strong Female Lead," it sould have known better. If I were forced to describe Spartacus in two words, they would be:

Snuff film.

Okay, not really, but there sure is lots of violence and lots of sex. As one reviewer pointed out, there are three sex scenes in the first thirty minutes. Boob, thigh, and butt nudity galore. (Plus, I'm about 80% sure a merkin was involved.) One might think that is enough to keep a person watching, but I quit, because there was pretty much nothin' else going on. Blood and smut, a TV show do not make.

It got me thinking. I wouldn't even finish watching Spartacus, but I've re-watched the ending of North and South at least twice now. What's at the ending of North and South? A kiss. A no-tongue kiss, at that. The Spartacus producers should take a hint: sometimes, a kiss is a helluva lot sexier than naked, writhing bodies.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Damn You, BBC!

I'm starting to think that the BBC is just an epic conspiracy to keep me from getting anything done ever. (Yes, I AM paranoid with a severely inflated sense of self-importance.) But seriously, I am wasting immense amounts of time watching BBC shows and miniseries on Netflix Watch It Now. I pretty much just watched two straight series of Robin Hood, and then I stayed up until 2 a.m. watching North and South. And yes, I sort of have a thing for Richard Armitage now, WHAT OF IT? You would too if you watched North and South!**

Can I digress back to Robin Hood for a moment, though? There's a third series that is only available in DVD, and I'm torn with whether I should watch it or not. I'm torn because...



***SPOILER ALERT***



...they freakin' killed off Maid Marian at the end of the second season! WTF? How can there be Robin Hood without his Maid Marian? That was kind of the only reason I was watching the show (other than the cuteness and charisma of Jonas Armstrong)! Marian's relationship with both Robin and Guy of Gisborne was one of the only interesting things that carried over from episode to episode. Now that she's gone I'm not sure I'll be interested in continuing. Except...


...they freakin' bring in Toby Stephens as Prince John! I also have a thing for Toby Stephens. You would too if you watched Jane Eyre! (That movie at least is Masterpiece Theatre, so I cannot lay the blame on the BBC.) So now I have to keep watching. Jonas Armstrong, Richard Armitage, and Toby Stephens all in the same TV show? My little netbook may explode from hotness.

AND I just found out that Richard Armitage is on Spooks/MI-5 now. THERE ARE SEVEN SEASONS OF THAT SHOW ON NETFLIX. Not to mention Matthew Macfadyen and Rupert Penry-Jones! Oh God, I might as well just call it quits now.

**BTW, North and South is REALLY good. You should watch it.

UPDATE: Because I love you so much, dear readers, I am granting a request for visual representation of these lovely lads:

Richard Armitage
Jonas Armstrong
Toby Stephens
Matthew Macfadyen
Rupert Penry-Jones

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Me For The Win!

So, last week I had a male colleague tell me that I just "don't know how distracting it is to be in a classroom or a workplace with a hot woman." Apparently, the presence of a beautiful woman makes it nigh impossible to focus on anything else, impossible to think about anything other than banging her. (According to him.)

First off, ew. Gross. Thank god I'm not a "hot woman." If there was ever a reason not to resent women more beautiful than us, this is it. I will take my average attractiveness over being oogled by icky men everywhere any day of the week.

Second, as I politely pointed out to him, bullshit. I know plenty of men who are not reduced to bumbling idiots in the presence of a beautiful woman. I also posited that perhaps he was just an exceptionally weak man.

And third, if his statement is in any way true, men must relinquish their claim to being the rational and logical gender. If a hot body makes you lose all sense, then you're not so rational after all, guys. I was inspired to blog on this by a guest lecturer I had in one of my classes today. While he was not traditionally handsome, he really rung my bell, if you know what I mean. Yum. But somehow, someway, despite how hot I found him, by sheer strength of will, I still managed to pay attention to his presentation.*


*That is sarcasm, in case you were wondering. It really wasn't very hard to think, "Man, he's sexy" and "Hmm, this area of patent law is really interesting" at the same time. Male colleague, you're kind of an idiot (about this).

I Have The Memory Of An Elephant People; I Don't Forget Your Facebook Posts. And I Judge You By Them.

I find it... interesting, to say the least, to see someone who, the day after Obama was elected, bemoaned a country where people didn't have to work anymore, evoked terms such as "socialism," and stated that this was "so not how [she] was raised," now give a sympathetic and personal account of how her family relied on unemployment for nine months.

I guess she and her family are just the exception. Everyone ELSE who utilizes social programs are lazy moochers. But not her!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lovely

I'm not one to shout my religion from the cyber-mountaintops, but man, 1 Corinthians 13 is pretty great, no matter what your faith or lack thereof.

It's easy to get jaded by all the Christian hypocrits you see EVERYWHERE. I appreciate the reminder that, in it's most basic form, my faith is centered on love.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Conversation

Mom: We should meet up in Town X between now and Spring Break.

Litigious Mind: Uh, why?

Mom: Because otherwise I won't have a chance to see [Litigious Mind's pregnant sister] in her different stages.

Litigious Mind: [Pause] Do you NEED to see her at her various stages?

Mom: [Telling pause]

Bachelor Number Wrong

Has anyone been watching "The Bachelor" this season? So far I've only watched a little bit of the first episode, but I'm yet to be impressed.

First off, the Bachelor, Jake. He's a total hunk, and they're definitely selling him as "the nice guy." So that kind of begs the question: what's wrong with him?! Seriously, there have to be some negatives to this guy, otherwise he wouldn't be single. His looks alone are enough to attract anyone's attention, so if it's true that he has trouble getting a second date (as he says), there's something going on.

He told Chris in the first episode that he can be too intense too soon. That leads me to think that Jake is attracted to strong, independent women, because that seems like the sort of woman that wouldn't want a gorgeous, employed man to be way into her.

If my theory is correct, I have a hard time believing that Jake is going to find his true love among the bachelorette's ABC has provided him with. 'Cause seriously, have you seen those women? Yikes.

Mom's Gold Star

I just watched a mom take her whiny, crying kids and make a beeline for the coffee shop door. She was like a football player drudging towards the endzone with two clinging, would-be tacklers going along for the ride. Why can't all moms be like that? She's my new hero.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I tell you guys, this post I did way back on Carrie Underwood is the gift that keeps on giving! Check out the second to last comment on that post. (My response is the last comment.) What a wing nut.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010